Men In Suits
by heavens to bikini kill
Summary: Jou, now out of high school and without a useful career, becomes involved in a heist. With a few problems: discovering homosexuality and dealing with Seto Kaiba. (love triangle: SetoxJouxOC, obviously yaoi. story is complete, now adding alternate endings)
1. Men With Plans

Men In Suits  
  
A slightly Quentin Tarantino-inspired Yu Gi Oh! fan fic by Heavens to Bikini Kill  
  
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One: Men With Plans  
  
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My name is Jounouchi Katsuya and I used to be in a gang.   
  
When I normally say this, people are tempted to get up and move to the other side of the room. This makes it very difficult to actually talk about what I've done. It makes very little sense, because everyone who is a righteous citizen makes the claim that if teenagers today would just talk about stuff, then we wouldn't be tempted to resort to use mob violence as our weapon of choice.  
  
Hm.   
  
To tell the truth, I was involved in crime more than just once. First, there was my old middle school gang. That was silly. We'd run around Domino smoking stolen cigarettes and getting in fights with high school gangs (wow!). Of course, once we left junior high the fuckers turned into a load of bloody cowards. They went off and picked on those who were half their size, hoping to maintain their reputation. It failed terribly. Then I was briefly involved with a high school gang, but that wasn't working. They liked to drink too much, and it was all actually counterproductive. If a gang could ever be productive.   
  
But enough about school.  
  
I've graduated recently, and as every single adult in my life had anticipated, I have nowhere to go. Think of the setting in that one graphic novel "Ghost World". Much like Enid, I didn't want to stay in town and be the same damn person, but I was apparently too stupid to get into college. Yuugi (and his yami, Atemu) went off to Tokyo University, Anzu actually did move to New York to study dance, Otogi and Kaiba were still in Domino, but that was okay because they had huge corporations to run. Honda actually (gasp!) got himself a job, and he moved out of his folks' house.   
  
There was no way in all of Hell that I was going to stick around with my drunk, worthless father, so I got myself a worthless job washing dishes in a sushi bar and moved in with Honda.   
  
One day, I walked home from the restaurant, smelling like cheap fish, grumbling incoherently (even to myself) about how the customers of Japan were involved in an intricate plot to purposely make us dishwashers scrub harder than the average person. The sky was getting cloudy, and I was sure that the gods were going to make it rain just so they could have a good laugh at me. Damn it. I never bothered to get a damn car.   
  
Tonight, I decided, I was going to curl up in the fetal position on the floor and watch "Reservoir Dogs" all night long. Men in suits with quick, hip dialogue always made me happy. Then I'd follow up with a heavy dosage of "Pulp Fiction", followed by the yakuza slice-and-dice Crazy 86 scene from "Kill Bill: Volume One".   
  
Tires squealed as the driver of whatever car stupidly swerved up to my curb. I turned to see what idiot wanted to look cool, and I wasn't that shocked at the answer. "Kaiba."  
  
"Make inu." He stepped out of the car and leaned against its irritably perfect hood. Rich boy.  
  
"You're still calling me that, you little cunt?" I snorted and pulled out a pack of Camels. I allowed Kaiba to watch one dangle out of my mouth as I continued mocking him. "One would think that you're over high school."  
  
Kaiba snorted and lit the cancer stick hanging out of my mouth. I desired greatly to put it out (how can I possibly smoke something that Kaiba lit?), but economical logic said to forget it. "Hm. You think I'm here just to insult you? Don't flatter yourself, inu."  
  
I laughed right out loud, causing Kaiba to step back for a moment. "Does it make you feel good to insult me?"  
  
"There's nothing about you to be proud of. You're out of high school and the best you can do is work in some sushi bar and live with that pencil-headed moron?"   
  
"And you run a mutlimillion dollar company, the same company you've been throwing in our faces since the TENTH GRADE." I blew smoke directly into his face. "Yeah, Kaiba. I was impressed when I was fifteen."  
  
He snorted and pulled out his own pack of foreign and remarkably expensive cigarettes. He smoked without filters. That's disgusting. "Sixteen, mutt. Can't you count?"   
  
"Please, Kaiba, keep boosting your self-esteem. I need a laugh."  
  
Kaiba grinned and smoked some more, gently tapping the ashes to the concrete. "I'm not here to attempt to match wits with you, inu."  
  
"Hm. Then what the hell do you want?"  
  
Kaiba paused, and opened his car door. "Get in."  
  
"You're joking, right?"  
  
"No joke. Get in. I'll explain on the way."  
  
----  
  
I kept my attention on the side windows as Kaiba drove to wherever. He kept his eyes on the road, and I had to say something. "What the hell is this about?"  
  
Kaiba smirked. Gods, how I hate that smirk. "You need money, right?"  
  
"I didn't know that my matters ever concerned you, twat."   
  
"They don't. You could die of alcohol poisoning with a rod rammed up your ass for all I care." He laughed humorlessly at his newfound wit. "Otogi wanted me to talk to you about this."  
  
"Otogi? That flaming faggot? He thinks I'm gonna have anything to do with him after he tried to hit on me at Yuugi's graduation party?"   
  
Kaiba laughed right out loud. "He says that YOU came on to HIM."  
  
"The man's a liar and a fucking fool." I snapped, and I let the brief exchange die.   
  
Kaiba drove on, staring at the asphalt. He sighed, and pressed on. "There this group of men...they've found a way to make an obscene amount of money...And Otogi wants you and Honda in."   
  
"Really, now." I snorted in contempt. "And what does he want out of it? A free fuck?"  
  
For the first time ever since I had met Kaiba in the tenth grade, he had nothing to say. "Erm..."  
  
I had no idea what the whole idea was supposed to be about, no clue what was the plan, no thought of how much money I could make, but I had only one response: "Forget it."   
  
"You're shitting me." Kaiba must have expected me to jump at the simple opportunity of making money.   
  
"I shit you not. I'm not a whore, Kaiba."   
  
Kaiba grumbled something along the lines of "stupid cunt didn't bother to let me explain" as he swerved towards the entrance of an old, condemned warehouse. "Get out."  
  
"Forget that, too. I'm not going anywhere near Otogi. He'll try to grab my ass again."   
  
"Conceited, are we?"  
  
"You're one to talk."  
  
"We're not in high school anymore, mutt. Get over your insecurities and be a man." He pulled me bodily out of the car and literally threw me at the warehouse's door.   
  
Reluctantly, I pushed it open and stared into a musky room full of men who I didn't know. Kaiba tailed me closely, as if to ensure that I hear these strange people out. I looked around carefully for anyone I might have known, purposely ignoring Otogi.   
  
Kaiba chuckled a bit at my obvious discomfort and pointed to each man. "That's Sota." A tall man with long dreads nodded back, adjusting his tortoiseshell glasses. "Akito." Slightly shorter, another man with blue (blue?), spiked hair and a leather coat covered in studs also nodded. "Hideaki." He kept his hair covered by a ridiculous fedora, and he was too busy with his cigar that he didn't look up. "And Yuuki."   
  
Yuuki floored me (I shouldn't say that...I'm straight, right?). He was ridiculously thin (thinner than Kaiba, I believe), and he dressed simply in a white t-shirt, tight blue jeans, and sneakers. He had a shock of blond, curly hair that he kept only slightly covered with a bandana. He glided across the rough, dirty floor to me and held out a graceful, smooth hand, covered in sliver rings and plastic bracelets. "Pleasure to meet you."  
  
My own big, rough hand shook his with a significant lack of grace. "You remind me of someone I've seen before..."  
  
"Jesse of Operation Ivy?" Yuuki read my mind, and it was creepy. "I'm told that a lot."   
  
"You don't look Japanese, yet you speak the vernacular perfectly."   
  
"I get that a lot too. My mom's American, my dad's from Osaka."   
  
I could see Kaiba rolling his eyes irritably with my peripheral vision, and soon enough he broke us up. "That's enough. Let's explain this to him."  
  
Yuuki dropped my hand and walked back to his table, stretching audibly and spreading his cat-like figure over his chair.   
  
Sota pushed his glasses onto the bridge of his nose as he spoke. "Hideaki has found the passwords for six different banks in Japan. These banks have the accounts of the twelve richest men in Japan, excluding, of course, Kaiba and Otogi."  
  
Otogi grinned at me, and I remembered that he was there. "Kaiba and I keep our money in Swiss accounts. It works."   
  
I looked away from him as if to say, "I do not care," and I rested my attention back to Sota.   
  
He continued. "Obviously, emptying all of these accounts at once will create a long trail of clues, ensuring our collective arrest. Therefore, we will empty these accounts one by one, using different methods."  
  
I was kind of confused. "Excuse me?"  
  
"Rather than just hacking into each system, we intend to implement a plethora of methods to acquire this money. Hold-ups. Brick-and-mortar break-ins. All of it. There will be no way to connect each heist to each other."   
  
I was, once again, floored. The plan seemed genius. But there was one problem: "What do you need me and Honda for?"  
  
Otogi jumped at the opportunity to speak to me directly. "Kaiba's told me about your...affinity for picking locks."   
  
Picking locks?? That was all they needed me for?? "Forget it." I turned to leave.   
  
"Wait!" Otogi cried. God, how womanish. "Look, the grand total of the profits is going to add up to billions and billions of yen. How can you deny this opportunity?"  
  
"What do you and Kaiba need it for, anyway? You've got your own companies, you don't need to steal from others."  
  
Otogi smirked. "I need a spot of more money for a new manufacturer for Dungeon Dice Monsters."  
  
"And I like a challenge," Kaiba chimed in.   
  
I sighed, defeated. They were all right, I did need money. This was probably going to be the only way to get it. "Fine. What's the plan?"  
  
Sota smiled sympathetically, as if he understood my position. "We're going to have a...formal meeting. There are plenty of men involved in this."  
  
Yuuki handed me a card, with an address scribbled upon it. "Go to that dining hall at seven thirty tomorrow evening." As everyone began to clean up and head home, he winked at me. "Bring Honda, and wear a suit, okay?" 


	2. Men Of Domino

Men In Suits  
  
A slightly Quentin Tarantino-inspired Yu Gi Oh! fan fic by Heavens to Bikini Kill  
  
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Two: Men Of Domino  
  
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Honda was shocked. "You really want to steal someone else's money?"  
  
I squirmed nervously under Honda's disapproving glare. He always was a better person than me. "Well...yes." I cringed for the upcoming verbal strike.  
  
And strike he did. "The hell is wrong with you, Jou? What can possibly be morally correct about stealing someone else's money?"   
  
"Think of it this way," I tried, "Those capitalist pigs have so much that they don't need what we'll be taking from them."  
  
I thought for a second that Honda was going to throw a punch. "Stealing is the pussy's way out, Jou. Whatever happened to pulling yourself up by the bootstraps?"   
  
"Honda..." I groaned. I didn't need a wall of morality to crash down on my dreams of Yuuki...Money! I said money! If you say different, I'll kick your ass.   
  
"Forget it, Jou. I can't respect men who steal."   
  
"Oh come on," I pleaded. "It's just like when you were a kid and you stole a candy bar from the grocery store."  
  
"I never stole candy when I was a kid. I saved up my allowance and bought it." Honda folded his arms across his chest and looked at me sternly, trying to prove that his own wall of morality would never crack.   
  
"Honda, please," I begged.   
  
"What do you need ME for, anyway? You know that I would never approve of stealing." Ah, the cop-out. Honda was cracking. I knew he would.  
  
"Listen, Otogi's in on this, right?"  
  
"Right."  
  
"Remember how he tried to get me in the sack at Yuugi's party?"  
  
Honda had to giggle a bit. "Oh man, all I can really remember is how you turned him down. Funny as hell."  
  
Normally I would have tackled Honda and socked him until he took it back, but I needed him. "Yeah, well, take that situation, minus Yuugi being there as an anti-fucking catalyst, minus you to back me up. Do you want a roommate who was groped by Otogi Ryuuji?"  
  
Honda thought about that for a moment, and smirked. "I'll have something to laugh about every night."  
  
"Honda!" I shook my fist at him dangerously. "What kind of a friend are you? Aren't you supposed to look out for me, or something?"   
  
"Okay, okay!" Honda held up his hands in defeat, laughing. "Fine. I'll do it. But I'm not touching that dirty money. I'll give it to charity or something."   
  
No, you won't, Honda. I know you much better than that. You'll toss it off the top of Kaiba Corp's building.   
  
He's crazy like that.  
  
----  
  
Honda adjusted my tie carefully. "Jesus, Jou, don't you know how to wear a goddamn suit?"  
  
"No." I never had to wear one.  
  
We both played it simple. Black coats, black pants, white shirts, black ties. Hopefully, the other men didn't wear anything extravagantly fancy. We'd look awful compared to them.   
  
"Quick question, Jou." Honda was examining himself carefully in the mirror.   
  
"Shoot."  
  
"How the hell are we going to get there? I'm not letting you on my bike, and you never bothered to get a car."  
  
Karma liked us at that moment. Someone rapped smartly at the door.   
  
"Can you get that, Jou?" Honda called. "I'm kind of busy."  
  
Busy making yourself look pretty for Otogi, no doubt.   
  
I shuffled to the door, trying to prevent the tie from strangling me. I threw it open, praying for whoever it was's sake that it was something important. "Kaiba? The hell are you doing here?"  
  
"I'm here to pick you up, baka." He pushed past me and made his way into my (okay, Honda's) home.   
  
"How the hell did you get this address?"  
  
"I can get whatever the fuck I want, inu. Now tell Pencil-Head to hurry the fuck up so we can actually get there on time."   
  
I nodded, still in shock at the concept of Kaiba being in my home. Granted, he never met my drunkard father, but it was still shocking nonetheless. I stuck my head in the small hallway and shouted, "Oi! Honda! Hurry it up, Qwerty's here to give us a ride!" [A/N: Doesn't sound like it makes much sense, but QWERTY is the name for the standard computer keyboard format. Why, you ask? Because the first six letters of the first alphabetical row spells "qwerty". Honda and Jou thought they were clever by calling Kaiba a computer geek.]  
  
Honda stuck his head out of his room. "Qwerty? He's here?"  
  
Kaiba arched a brow. "Qwerty?"  
  
"Don't ask." Kaiba's hand began to touch my tie. I slapped it away. "Excuse me? The hell do you think you're doing?"  
  
"Your tie's all wrong."  
  
"It's supposed to be that way." Awful save, Jou.  
  
Kaiba only smirked and looked away. "It's okay. It doesn't matter...you're not an essential part of the heist, anyway."  
  
"Kaiba, I think you need to see a shrink or something about your self-esteem issues."  
  
"Did that make you feel clever?"   
  
Honda walked in to see two old enemies on the brink of throwing blows. "Hey, guys?" his voice broke in, forcing me to stop thinking about how much I hated that damn rich boy. "Let's go."  
  
----  
  
It was a black tie affair.   
  
Not really. But every single man was wearing a simple suit, much like Honda's and mine. Even Kaiba and Otogi didn't show off their obscene wealth. Shocking.   
  
Honda and I claimed our corner of the dining hall, downing every alcoholic drink that came within a twenty-five foot radius of us. Honda had the amazing ability to keep his alcohol (he's beaten me at every drinking game that's on the face of this planet). Unfortunately, I do not.   
  
The moment I started seeing stars and blurry people, Honda cut me off. I wanted to behave like a stereotypical drunk and punch him out, but booze has this really funny habit of making sure that you can't so anything right. So as I swung at a blur of brown and black, Honda took my drunken state to his advantage and placed me firmly down at the nearest table.   
  
I just love how wonderfully selective Honda unknowingly is.  
  
Yuuki turned away from the person he had been talking to, and looked at me with a mix of concern and humor. "Jou? Are you okay?"  
  
I blushed furiously, either from the alcohol or from embarrassment. "I'm...fine. R-really..." I noticed that I was starting to slur my words. How embarrassing.   
  
Even my drunken vision could see the smirk growing on Yuuki's face. "I'm thinking you've had one too many?" Gods. His curly blond hair seemed to fall perfectly in place over his forehead. The suit was throw carelessly on his thin frame, and it worked. His amazing hands fell in place on the table, still covered in silver rings. But I swear I wasn't thinking that, because last I checked, I am straight. (Right?)  
  
The person whom Yuuki was talking to earlier examined me closely, pushing the glasses higher upon his face and brushing his long dreads back. If memory served me right, he was Sota. "Perhaps Honda-san should take you home, Jounouchi-san."   
  
"No!" I said almost too quickly. "I'm fine, really..."  
  
Sota shook his head furiously, and his dreads flew around everywhere. "You should not drive home in this condition, Jounouchi-san."   
  
"Oh, don't worry about that," I said, not bothering to watch my words. "I don't even have a car --"  
  
"Oh, so Jou's a mutt and he's poor." I choked on last sentence as Kaiba sat down next to me. He pulled out another pack of his expensive, foreign cigarettes that don't have filters. Once again, disgusting.   
  
I growled audibly as Honda shot back, "Don't know why it's any of your business, Kaiba."   
  
Kaiba only blew his smoke in our faces (causing us both to cough violently and attempt to get that horrible taste out of our mouths), and replied, "If you're going to announce to the world that you're worthless, then it becomes everyone's business."   
  
Honda and I both glared daggers (Honda's were more effective because I was very close to sloppy drunk) as Yuuki giggled softly. Sota only grinned and adjusted his glasses. This continued for another uncomfortable two minutes as Kaiba relished his cancer stick and intentionally blew the smoke in our faces every now and then. Yuuki finally broke the silence with, "Kaiba, I don't smoke. Would you --?"  
  
Kaiba glared right across the table, hoping to break Yuuki with ice. Didn't work. Yuuki only smiled right back, though his eyes showed he was ready for a challenge. Kaiba put it out reluctantly.   
  
Honda spoke. "So, what's the purpose of this meeting? To discuss the --"  
  
Sota's long arm shot across the table and his hand went right over Honda's mouth. "Are you stupid?" he hissed as I was frozen in shock by his sudden movement. "We're not discussing it in such an open place. Feds could be spying on us."  
  
"So what's the purpose?" I had to ask.  
  
Kaiba rolled his eyes. "Obviously, make inu, any important information will be passed to those who need it. Messages for hackers will go to hackers. And so on."   
  
"Oh." So as a "lock picker" there was no purpose for me to be there. How impressive. Honda wasn't going to stay in this, that was for sure.   
  
Yuuki smiled warmly, sensing my irritation. "But there isn't that much that needs to be cleared up at this point, so most of us just think of it as a get-together before the operation begins."   
  
Fine. So Honda and I are stuck in a dining hall full of men in suits for a few hours, and I can't even drink. (Honda and Yuuki both promised to go to any lengths necessary to prevent me from touching anything other than water.) How wonderful.  
  
----  
  
An hour and a half into the event, I was bored. I shifted constantly, hummed a tune to myself, tapped my fork against my water glass, until Honda yelled at me to stop.   
  
So I sat there, my head slipping off my palm every now and then, and I made sure that everyone knew that I was beyond bored. Even the DJ was playing boring music. I never cared for enka. [A/N: Enka is sort of a Japanese version of country.]  
  
Suddenly, the DJ threw on another record, something dramatically different from anything else that he'd been playing that night. It sounded like...hip hop?  
  
Yuuki nodded his head to the beat. "Are these guys American or something?" I asked.  
  
"Yeah, they're The Roots," Yuuki replied. "Man, I love this song." Out of the blue, he grabbed my hand. "Come on, Jou. Let's dance."  
  
I was frozen. I don't know how Americans act, but Yuuki was behaving as if he were from a different planet. Either that, or all of those American fried foods must have gotten to his head. Here in Japan, men do not dance with other men. Unless they want to announce to the world that they're gay. I am not gay.   
  
"No thanks." I thought that a polite declination would bring Yuuki to his senses.   
  
Apparently not. "Oh, please, Jou. Don't be so uptight." His slender hand grabbed hold of my tricep and he pulled me out to a clearing in the hall that would apparently make for a dance floor.   
  
I searched desperately for a proper excuse. "I don't know how to dance." Especially with men. Of course I didn't add that part: I really didn't feel like being called a dirty homophobe.   
  
Yuuki began to sway as I stood there, blushing furiously. It took everything I had not to watch his remarkably fluid hips. His arms flowed gently as if they were paper in the breeze. He moved in perfect synchronization with the music, never missing a beat. Apparently, his dancing had the same effect on everyone else in the hall. Their collective eyes remained locked on Yuuki.   
  
Considering the fact that everyone in the room happened to be of the male gender, I was prepared to believe that they were going to kick my ass, along with Yuuki's. What actually happened was beyond shocking.   
  
You see, instead of beating us up, they got out of their seats and started...dancing. Unbelievable, I know. But Sota grabbed Akito (whose blue hair wasn't up at all ends, but was combed down in a ice, professional fashion) and they both kicked and swayed furiously. Hideaki (who was still wearing his ridiculous fedora) started dancing with some other man who I didn't know. Even Otogi got Honda to dance with him. (I made a mental note to chew him out later.)   
  
So for three minutes, I saw surrounded by men in suits who all danced with each other as if it were something normal. Perhaps it was because they were so female-deprived. I didn't even consider the other option.   
  
I turned to the table that we had been sitting at, thinking that there had to be someone there who thought this situation wasn't normal. (I had already lost Honda to this insanity.)   
  
Unfortunately, the only other man I saw was Kaiba Seto. I didn't want to find myself agreeing with him, even in secret, so I started dancing reluctantly with Yuuki, making sure not to get too close. (Of course he didn't think I was gay...)   
  
But instead of Kaiba wearing a face that said that this situation was beyond strange, he looked angry. Almost jealous, even. And that's when I noticed that he was looking directly at me. 


	3. Men In Bed

Men In Suits  
  
A slightly Quentin Tarantino-inspired Yu Gi Oh! fan fic by Heavens to Bikini Kill  
  
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Three: Men In Bed  
  
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The image of Kaiba's great stare of jealousy etched itself into my mind, and in order to keep it out of there, I concentrated entirely upon sushi and lock-picking.   
  
In a matter of days, Hideaki summoned me to his nightclub downtown. (It was dirty and filled with punk rock kids who ALL wore ridiculous fedoras.) He said that I needed to meet with Yuuki to discuss the upcoming operation, and make preparations for my and Honda's departure to Hiroshima, where our bank was located.   
  
The place was noisy and dirty. There was a band on a makeshift stage (Hideaki made it look like shit on purpose), screaming something along the lines of, "I've got it figured out now, it must be a game/a million fuckin' people and they're all the same..." (Another "society sucks" song? Oh yes, how original.) As I pushed my way through slam-dancing fools who apparently thought the American punk lifestyle was cool, I got pretty nasty glares from folks who disliked my lack of a fedora. Ergh.   
  
I saw Akito waving at me in the back, standing in front of a heavy wooden door that was densely decorated with stickers and political slogans. I nodded to him and he opened the door, ushering me in.   
  
The door slammed behind me and Akito was gone. I would have hammered on the wood, but no one would ever hear me above all of that noise.  
  
I felt around in the dark and found a light switch. I flipped it on and turned around as though to examine my surroundings. All I saw in the tiny room was a wooden chair, a table that looked like it was about to fall apart, a bottle of sake, and a mattress, decorated with red bedsheets, assorted rose petals, and Yuuki.   
  
I believe that I have developed this uncanny habit of always noticing what Yuuki wears. That night he was in a "The Clash" t-shirt, plaid boxers, and a brown knit beanie pulled over his shock of curly, blond hair. Not that any of was relevant.   
  
He pulled himself up from the bed and leaned carelessly against the wall, his limbs falling perfectly in place. Staring became second nature; I couldn't help it.   
  
Yuuki was chewing slowly on a Pocky stick and looking me over very carefully. "You came."  
  
"Wasn't I supposed to?"  
  
He smiled. "So Hideaki told you something different. Guess he wanted to ensure your arrival."   
  
I chose to ignore that part, and I pulled out some blueprints of the bank that Sota had sent me. I set them down on the table, shifting the bottle of sake aside. "About the operation --"  
  
"Let's forget about that tonight, okay?" Yuuki crumpled up the blueprints into a small paper ball and threw it across the room. He grabbed the bottle and poured some alcohol into a small cup, offering it to me. "Sake?"  
  
"No thank you," I declined politely. "I'm a scotch man myself."  
  
"I see." Yuuki placed the bottle down. "I'll remember that in the future."  
  
The entire situation was just creepy. Yuuki had forgotten every single rule of professionalism and efficiency, and he was behaving as if he didn't give a damn whether or not we got the money. As a matter of fact, he was behaving as if...as if he was hitting on me in some strange, twisted manner.   
  
Yuuki leaned back against the wall and I watched his eyes explore every centimeter of my body. One could cut through the silence with a knife. "I had you come here for a reason, Jou."   
  
"And that is?"   
  
He glided across the rough, dirty floor to me and put a hand to my cheek, rubbing it softly. My logical, sensible self screamed at me to kick Yuuki's ass twice over for such blatantly homosexual actions. My other self...the illogical, silly, primitive self, the one that made me lose so many times to Yuugi and Kaiba, was only thinking along the lines of, "Yuuki soft."   
  
Because I was far too preoccupied with myself, Yuuki took the opportunity to pull me closer, and he kissed me fully.   
  
Now, normally, this would have been the breaking point for me. I probably would have stepped back, taken a few deep breaths, explained to Yuuki that I was straight, and then I would have busted his ass. But something in the air invaded my respiratory system and gotten to my brain, messing with my proper judgment, and forcing me to allow Yuuki to pull off my clothing and gently push me to the mattress.   
  
"Yuuki," I placed a finger to his lips to prevent him from going any further. "Are we not men?"  
  
He smiled sadly. "If you don't want this, I'll stop right now."   
  
I mulled over the options in my mind. I could set it off and make it clear that no man was allowed to touch me in such a manner. (No, far too violent. He probably has friends.) I could politely decline and make my way out. (No, I'd look weak.) Or...  
  
No. I'm straight, right?   
  
Wrong.  
  
Jounouchi Katsuya, you are as straight as a circle.   
  
Yuuki stood up and yanked off his clothing, allowing a few curls to fall over his eyes. I sat on my hands to keep from brushing them back. He chuckled. "Are you uncomfortable, Jou?" He had obviously taken notice of the red spreading across my face.   
  
Real men don't admit such silly things. "N-no...of course not." My eyes trailed away from his face, and my own began to turn magenta.   
  
I heard Yuuki's laughter and I quickly looked away, flicking rose petals off of my arms. He grabbed a remote control and pressed a button, and music flowed out of a stereo. I raised an eyebrow.   
  
"I wanted our first time to be special," Yuuki explained.  
  
I snorted, beside myself. "By playing Operation Ivy?"  
  
Yuuki blushed slightly. "When we first met, all I could listen to was Operation Ivy. They reminded me of you."   
  
"Great. You see stupid American punk rockers and I'm the first thing that pops into your mind. Lovely, Yuuki."   
  
Yuuki started to sway where he stood, singing. "It's not the end, it's the beginning/the ground is moist and it rained last night/smells like smoke and it smells so clean/the sun's shining down like a friendly white light..."  
  
I laughed right out loud, and Yuuki stared. "Here we go again."  
  
He mumbled something incoherent (I suppose it's better that I don't know what he said) and straddled me carefully, making sure to kiss me every now and then. His lips tickled my ears as he whispered, "Shall we?"  
  
His hands became little explorers, finding places that had never been touched by anything except for a washcloth. My breath came out in short gasps, and a strange form of pleasure (pleasure that I wasn't supposed to be feeling) flowed through my veins. I gripped the bedsheets and my knuckles went white as I succumbed to each any every motion that this blond god on top of me made.   
  
"Prepare yourself, Katsuya." That was awfully strange, him referring to me by my first name. No one has ever done that, not even my father, who normally refers to me as "you" or "fucking moron."  
  
It didn't really hurt. NO, I didn't enjoy it either. It felt...weird. I mean, when you read hentai and such, you become so accustomed to the idea of a GIRL, never a guy, being "violated," et cetera.   
  
When he finished, I wasn't that sure if I wanted anything to do with him. He was...creepy. He pulled me into his arms and whispered something about how I was so goddamn beautiful and that he wanted to keep me with him forever. (At least he didn't say he loved me...yet.) What was I gonna do, push him away and yell at him? Not likely.   
  
The last thing I ever wanted to do was fall asleep in that dingy, rotting room. Unfortunately, I did.   
  
[A/N: Okay, EDIT. I had to change this chapter. It was remarkably mediocre (and still is). BloodMistress, thanks for the heads up, I should try to write about what I don't know. (Raise your hands if you already figured out that Yuuki was going to go for Jou. It was so obvious, thank you.) Thank the stars I can go back to my PG-13 rating, allowing more people to simply click and read, rather than having to dig and find. One more thing, the song is Operation Ivy's "Here We Go Again" off of their 7" EP "Hectic." I'm seeing Yuuki singing and dancing to that song naked...O-O HAHAHAHA! I get way too attached to my OCs. Enough of my ramblings, review please. Oh yeah, there's going to be some serious gaps between updates. I'm spending my weekdays in LA and the only computer access is to a library full of PCs. I am a Mac user, I don't have many floppy discs. Expect updates every weekend or so. Sorry. Thanks to reviewers thus so far. Four is coming up reaaaal soon.] 


	4. Men And Jealousy

Men In Suits  
  
A slightly Quentin Tarantino-inspired Yu Gi Oh! fan fic by Heavens to Bikini Kill  
  
--------------  
  
Four: Men And Jealousy  
  
--------------  
  
"What the hell are you doing here?"  
  
"What the hell is Jou doing in that bed?"  
  
"Hm. Funny. I don't remember when it concerned you."  
  
"I need to give him his stuff so he can start work at the bank tomorrow morning. He wasn't at his apartment, and Honda said I should probably come here. I doubt he expected his best friend to be in bed with a --"  
  
"Shut up. To the best of my knowledge, the furthest your relationship with Katsuya has ever gone is you calling him a filthy mutt."   
  
A pause. "That was never any of your business."  
  
"It's my business now, Kaiba."   
  
"Right. Good for you."   
  
"I know men like you, Kaiba. You're wasteful. You smash things up and you throw them away."  
  
"Hm. You're some sort of shrink now?"  
  
Bitter laughter. "Funny, Kaiba. Just know this: if you ever hurt Katsuya in any way, and I do mean any way possible, I will not hesitate to kill you."   
  
"Did you hope to scare me with that line?"  
  
"Defer it all you want, Kaiba, but I do not lie."  
  
"Whatever." Another pause. "Give him the uniform and the train ticket. He'll be working at the bank for two weeks before the operation begins."   
  
"Lovely." Pause. "Now get out. I'm making Katsuya breakfast."   
  
----  
  
I woke up to Yuuki and a tray loaded with greasy, sugared doughnuts and pastries. "Morning, darlin'," he greeted me and kissed me on the forehead.   
  
"What's all this?" I pointed to the fried dough.  
  
He smiled. "Thought you should have a proper breakfast after what I put you through last night."   
  
"Great," I smiled weakly. "I had an awfully strange dream, though. I thought I heard you and somebody who sounded like Kaiba talking."  
  
Yuuki turned red and immediately changed the subject. "You're quitting your sushi job today."   
  
"Yeah, I know. I get to be a rent-a-cop. Fun."  
  
He laughed out loud and stuffed his face with a sugar doughnut. "It'll be worth it."  
  
"The only thing I'm getting out of this is seeing the look on the manager's face when I tell him I'm quitting. Old wad."   
  
"Right." He tossed me a blue dress shirt and a pair of black work pants. "Can you believe they're giving you a gun?"  
  
"Hey," I protested, "I can handle packing heat. It's just Honda I'm worried about. Would YOU trust Honda with a gun?" Yuuki broke into hysterics as I ranted, "Imagine giving him a gun! He'd go off on some sort of a killing spree! He'd go after every single person who pissed him off. He'd probably go for Kaiba first, on account of that falling blocks ordeal."   
  
----  
  
The train ride was uneventful, and is not worth describing. Absolutely nothing relevant happened once I arrived in Hiroshima: I visited Shizuka, who was finishing her senior year of high school, and who had finally stopped asking about Kaiba (I think she got over the whole Cinderella-esque dream). I went to the bank for my day of orientation. I moved into my temporary home, where Honda was waiting.  
  
"Where the hell were you all night?" he demanded.  
  
Do you realize how hard it is to lie to your friend, the same friend who voluntarily put up with all of the morally decaying bullshit of some heist that he never wanted to be a part of, but only did it just because you begged him to? "I was at Hideaki's club..."  
  
"With who?" Damn, he's like some sort of worried parent.   
  
"With...Hideaki, obviously."  
  
"Don't lie to me, Jou."  
  
I blushed furiously. "All right! I was there with Yuuki...it's irrelevant."  
  
"Apparently not. Why did you lie to cover it up?"  
  
"Because it wasn't much of your business?"  
  
"Because you slept with Yuuki." I turned to hide my shame. "Oh my god! I was just joking, Jou...did you really?"  
  
"Yeah, so?" Perhaps attitude would back him off.   
  
No, not really. "Jesus, Jou. Next you'll be saying that you cuddled with him afterwards." He watched my embarrassed reaction and laughed even harder. "My God! Big Bad Jou, getting cuddled by a man!"  
  
"Oh really?" I countered angrily. "Then how's Otogi? You probably invited him over when I wasn't there."   
  
Honda's face turned violet with fury. "Excuse me?" At that moment I remembered that Honda had made it perfectly clear that he had nothing to do with Otogi, and that he had only danced with him because Otogi had taken advantage of his slightly drunken state. (Honda can be very wordy with his fists.)   
  
I suppose, then, that I kind of deserved the fat lip that he gave me.   
  
----  
  
Kaiba called me to his makeshift office in Hiroshima. Once again, I found it irrelevant. What the hell was he going to do to me, call me a filthy dog? (I now regret such arrogance.)  
  
He had leased out an old building that used to be a small gift shop. There was dust everywhere, and folding tables and chairs. Bankers boxes seemed to make for temporary walls. There were only five or six people in the building, but with their constant flitting and scattering around, it felt as if there were twenty plus.   
  
I kicked aside boxes and people and reached the back storeroom, where Kaiba apparently had set up his own personal office. It was sparsely decorated: a folding table, a folding chair, two or three bankers boxes, and a photo of Mokuba. He looked up from his laptop and quite willingly served up his well known Kaiba-glare. A few years ago, I might have quaked a little bit. Instead, I spoke. "You called for me?"  
  
He didn't look up. "Hm. You're every bit as obedient as I anticipated."  
  
I was trying my hardest not to snap, and I clenched my fists in order to encourage myself. "Shut the fuck up, and get to it. Why'd you want me here?"  
  
"I hope swearing doesn't make you feel tough."   
  
The struggle to keep my temper in check was beginning to go to the wrong side. "Make this quick, Kaiba. I've places to be."  
  
"Like where?" He snorted in contempt. "Visiting that foolish sister of yours? The one who thinks that she's remarkable just because she used to be blind? Am I supposed to admire her?"   
  
That was it. My duty as an older brother is to never allow anyone to insult my family. Something broke apart in my brain, and without any consideration of the circumstances, I lunged across the desk at my enemy number one. HIs eyes widened in shock as I knocked him to the dusty floor.   
  
He feebly attempted to defend himself (he was most likely still surprised at the mere concept of the mutt attacking his "master") as I whaled away at him, aiming for his pretty little face, but at times settling for other targets, such as his torso. I punched until my right wrist began to hurt, and so I held him down with that hand and punched even harder with the left.   
  
Finally, I became tired of punching out Kaiba. (Sounds strange, I know.) My punches were slower and more time passed between them, until finally I stopped hitting him all together. I noted that there were quite a few bruises located on his stomach, and I created a few shiners on his face.   
  
It was hard to breathe. The idea of beating up Kaiba Seto was far too much for me to truly comprehend at the time. I gasped and choked and watched Kaiba lie there with his eye half closed.   
  
He grabbed my collar and pulled me towards him, and there was a haze developing in my mind, preventing me from doing anything more than breathing and thinking a few words at a time. His lips brushed softly against my forehead, and he whispered something about how I was wonderful when I was angry.   
  
I was incapable of proper speech. "Wha...the...hell...you...doing?"  
  
"Jou. You have no clue how I feel about you."   
  
"The hell?!"  
  
He didn't respond, and only kissed me deeply. "I've never wanted to hurt you, Jou," he mumbled, "I was just afraid."   
  
He wrapped his arms around me, taking full advantage of my shocked state. "I don't know how to say this, Jou, but I..."  
  
"If you say you love me," I forced out, "I will kick your ass again."  
  
Seeing as he never laughs or smiles, Kaiba only pulled me closer (if that were possible, seeing as I was still on top of him) and held me for the rest of that afternoon, demanding that everyone who needed him leave it for tomorrow.  
  
[A/N: Erm...sketchy much? I'm not very good at non-cliche SetoxJou moments and that's too bad. I'm trying harder with this fic. It's really hard not to write puppy/master deals, because every damn SetoxJou writer leans on that cliche. Review, y'all. See you next week.] 


	5. Men And Competition

Men In Suits  
  
A slightly Quentin Tarantino-inspired Yu Gi Oh! fan fic by Heavens to Bikini Kill  
  
--------------  
  
Five: Men And Competition  
  
--------------   
  
I do believe that Honda nearly died of laughter that evening.  
  
He had to hold on to various objects, such as couches and tables, in order to keep from falling over in his fit of hysteria.   
  
Finally, I just told him to shut the fuck up.   
  
"Please, Jou, don't get so mad at ME. YOU'RE the one who all the fags seem to go for."  
  
"What?!" I raged. "How DARE you use that word?!"  
  
"What word?" Honda said innocently. "'Fag'? Jou, you use that word all the time!"  
  
"I never realized how offensive it really is." I paused. "Oh God, I really am gay."  
  
"That you are," Honda chirped happily. He adjusted his collar, straightened his tie, and examined a bottle of cologne.   
  
I looked over at the bottle and saw that it was probably American: labeled in English as Obsession. "The hell are you getting all pretty for? Got a date with Otogi?"  
  
Honda glared. "No, baka. I'm going to see Shizuka."  
  
My jaw dropped to the floor. "You're kidding."  
  
"What? Shocked that I was able to get your sister, and NOT Otogi?"  
  
"No, fool," I snapped. "I'm shocked that you would go out with a girl who's still in high school."  
  
"High school SENIOR," Honda insisted.  
  
"Yeah yeah yeah, it's all the same. The hell is she going out with you for?"   
  
"Because I am more sensitive, more caring, and far more attractive than Kaiba will ever be. Plus, I'm not gay."   
  
I rolled my eyes to the heavens. "Uh huh. Yeah, well, you know the drill. Hurt Shizuka in any way and I'll murder you."  
  
Honda grinned. "Why the hell would I do that? I've been after that girl for almost three years now. As if I'd ruin this opportunity."  
  
I laughed out loud and threw a sofa pillow at his head. "Get out of here."  
  
----  
  
Because of Honda's very convenient absence (he said he'd be gone for quite a while, surmising a few well-placed punches on my part), I took the opportunity to walk around the apartment, scratching myself and only bothering to wear boxers and socks. I enjoyed fifteen minutes of drinking and watching Anzu's Aqua Teen Hunger Force DVD (she said it was really hot in the US) when somebody knocked at the front door.  
  
I checked through the peephole and saw Yuuki leaning against the nearest wall, patiently waiting for me to answer the door. I looked down at myself and mulled over the situation. Yuuki, a man who was apparently head over heels for me, walking in to see me in boxers, drinking a bottle of brew, and in a place with a bed. The repercussions would be gigantic.   
  
I ran to my room and threw on a dress shirt and trousers, the first things I found. Then I sprinted back to the door and threw it open, straightening myself up subsequently in order to appear calm and relaxed. "Hey there, Yuuki."   
  
He glided in and looked me over carefully. "God damn, Katsuya, I had no clue how hot you really were until now. You should dress nicely more often."   
  
Shit. Counterproductivity. (That can't be a real word...)   
  
His hand graced mine and he pulled me gently into his arms. "You're so beautiful..." he whispered.  
  
I rolled my eyes to the heavens once more. "You treat me like a woman."  
  
"I do not," Yuuki protested softly. "I treat you like the god that you are...something that Kaiba can't do properly. "  
  
The sudden mention of my other "lover" made me start. "Excuse me? What does Kaiba have to do with this?"  
  
"He kissed you." It was a simple statement of fact.  
  
I began to sweat profusely. What was I supposed to say? I doubted denial and lying would actually help. I turned away.  
  
Yuuki took hold of my shoulders and turned me towards him. "Katsuya. I want you to be mine. Forget Kaiba."  
  
"W-what? Are you jealous or something?"  
  
He laughed bitterly. "Jealous? Jealous of what? Jealous of that rich fool, who's insulted you and your family for years on end? Hardly." He looked directly into my eyes, consuming me completely. "I trust your judgment, Katsuya."   
  
Someone knocked at my door once more. Gods, I think karma hated me that night.   
  
I threw it open and my heart crashed to my feet. "K-Kaiba? The hell are you doing here?"   
  
For the first time in his life, he didn't smirk in that conceited shit way of his. Of course he didn't smile, he never does, but his eyes had small hints of warmth and love, of hope and hopeful despair. (Poetic, ne?) "Jou..." he muttered so softly that I nearly had to lean closer just to hear him properly, "I love you too much."   
  
The rest of the world went out of focus as Kaiba and I stood there in the doorway, staring at each other as if nothing else mattered.   
  
"Keep trying, you filth," Yuuki snarled from behind me, snapping us both out of our shared trance.   
  
Kaiba glared at Yuuki, keeping his fists at his side. "Really? You're here? Trying to fuck Jou again?"  
  
"Katsuya is mine. Period." Yuuki was firm.  
  
"Hm. Because you tricked him and fucked him in some mangy club?" Kaiba stepped forward.  
  
Yuuki also took a step. "Because, you fool, the likelihood of Katsuya even tolerating his enemy is low. You've verbally assaulted him ever since the day that you met. You tried to establish some sort of class division, tried to make him think that you were somehow better than him. Why in blazes," he raged, "would he ever want anything to do with you now? Do you think he is that desperate for material goods?"   
  
"Perhaps," Kaiba responded angrily, "it is because Jou and I have shared a connection that's existed long before this heist. Do you think my words have really affected him that much? You're touched, Yuuki, touched quite a bit in the head. You dream too much, you think this is some scenario out of a poorly written romance novel? Jou will take me above you because the sheer fact that he has no reason NOT to."   
  
At that point they both looked at me expectantly. I blushed furiously. "Erm..." There really wasn't anything I could say to keep the two from tearing each other to shreds. Honestly, you cannot deny that they both had really valid points.  
  
Yuuki appeared like he was terribly torn between tears and physical assault. "You can't be serious, Katsuya. You'd actually consider loving that...that bourgeois filth? Can you not remember all the times that he threw his status in your face?"  
  
Kaiba snorted and looked to me, his eyes boring into my very soul. "Be realistic, Jou. What can this dreaming fool ever do for you? Can he insure you a concrete future? I think not. He lives on music and cheap wine, Jou, how definite is that kind of life?"   
  
"I think you've said more than enough for today, Kaiba," Yuuki snapped.  
  
Kaiba clenched his fists even tighter. "You think so? Willing to support your opinion?"  
  
Seeing these two men, two men from completely different worlds, two men who would have never met, much less fought, before, arguing and on the brink of throwing blows, was getting to my head. I'd say that I feel really bad for the pretty girls that all the stupid boys fight over. I threw myself in between the two (just in case either one was about to back up his threats). "Stop! Gods, you're both behaving like a pair of stupid, fat-headed jocks!"  
  
They both pulled their eyes away from each other and stared at me. Yuuki spoke first. "Katsuya. You know that you will have to choose. And you know that you will have to hurt somebody."   
  
"You know how we feel about you, Jou," Kaiba added. "Eventually, you will have to make up your mind."  
  
I snorted and pushed past Kaiba to the door. I grabbed my wallet from the small table nearby and shoved it into my back pocket. "You guys think I can be won over like some idiot girl? Please." I opened the door, and before I exited the apartment I called over my shoulder, "I'll see you both tomorrow at the bank. We've got money to steal. For now, I'm going to get drunk and forget."   
  
It was, I believe, around eight when I slammed the door in their faces.   
  
[A/N: Ooooooooh, conflict! Yaaah! And next chapter I'm finally getting back to the heist itself, I've been asking myself when am I going to cut the corniness factor and get to the quirky heist parts. And now I will! Yaaah! So...Yuuki and Seto have told Jou straight up that he's gotta choose sometime soon...who will it be, Yuuki or Seto? Hyaaah! Big homosexual SHOWDOWN! (to quote the great Kohta Hirano) Ginyaaa! Hmm... wouldn't YOU like to know who Jou's going to go for...(you won't find out for a few more chapters...hah!) But hold up! Wait a minute! Don't NOBODY like Yuuki? In chapter three everyone was all, "Oh. So Yuuki made his move on Jou. Great. (rolling eyes)" but when chapter four came out and Seto made his move, you're all like, "Ooooooooh! Ooooooooh! Seto and Jou! Yaaay!" And I'm like, "WHAAAAT?! I went through all the trouble of making this OC who's remarkably hot and NONE of you like him??!! Gaaaah! Should I just kill him off or something?!!" Haha. I'll NEVER kill Yuuki, NEVER!! But enough of this ridiculously long author's note...seriously, doesn't anyone like Yuuki? Just a little bit? Please? I like him...(and everyone I know's all, "That's because Heavens to Bikini Kill likes her OCs too damn much!" and I'm all, "Shut the FUCK up 'fore I knock you out, son!") Aaaaaanyhow, this was a really long rambling paragraph and I'm gonna end it with two requests: pleaaase review and pleaaase peep my other work. Please. People not reading my stuff makes me sad...there'd be no purpose in posting... look at how review-shallow I am...] 


	6. Men With Money

Men In Suits  
  
A slightly Quentin Tarantino-inspired Yu Gi Oh! fan fic by Heavens to Bikini Kill  
  
--------------  
  
Six: Men With Money  
  
--------------  
  
So yeah, I got drunk. And yeah, I stumbled into the apartment a little after midnight. And yeah, I fell asleep on the sofa.  
  
About an hour later (I know this because the digital clock vaguely read one twenty-seven), Honda walked in through the door, smiling broadly. He saw that I had awakened, and marched over to me in the fashion that most men adopt when they are about to brag about getting some action. He halted, saw me, and turned on his heel to his room rather quickly. Smart man.   
  
Later that morning, I crawled over to my room and dug through my closet, trying to ignore the pounding headache that was screaming for painful attention. I lazily slipped on my work uniform, and tried to fix my awfully messy hair. Then I dragged my two-ton self to the kitchen, where milk and cereal poured directly into my mouth served as a proper breakfast.   
  
Honda walked in, in his own uniform. "So," he asked innocently as he pulled out a bowl, "what'd you do last night, other than getting drunk?"  
  
"Eh?" I was far too tired to fully register what Honda had said.  
  
"What. Did. You. Do. Last. Night?"  
  
"Oh." I suddenly remembered two dangerously jealous, but remarkably attractive men screaming at each other and looking at me. "Um... will you believe that Kaiba and Yuuki were two seconds away from killing each other?"  
  
"What?" Honda's eyes widened to the size of saucers. "You serious?"  
  
"Very... why wouldn't be?" I looked at Honda carefully. "Is there something I should know, Honda?"  
  
Honda's face turned very, very red. "Um... you see, I was talking to Yuuki a few days ago, and..."  
  
"And...?" I encouraged.  
  
"And somehow the conversation became about Kaiba. Yuuki was saying stuff about how he'd be willing to kill him if he tried to hurt you."  
  
"What?!" I nearly dropped the carton of milk I was holding. "You told him that Kaiba isn't trying to hurt me, right?"  
  
Honda rolled his eyes. "Well, seeing as I don't have a clue what's going on between you two, no."  
  
"Shit! What else did he say?"  
  
"The hell are you so worried about? Anyhow, I said I agreed with him. The guy is an asshole. I think I told him about our little trip to Kaiba Land..."  
  
"The one where you nearly got squashed to death by his flying blocks?" [A/N: For those of you who have no clue, in Volume Four of the Yu-Gi-Oh! manga, Kaiba made Yuugi, Anzu, Jou, and Honda go through Death-T, the theme park of death. One of the games involved a completely empty room, where the victims would have to dodge huge blocks falling from the ceiling. The gang climbs up the blocks to the exit, but Honda gets his coat trapped and a block seals off the exit. So yeah, he nearly died thanks to Kaiba.]  
  
"Yeah, that one."   
  
"Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Do you realize what's going to happen now? Yuuki's going to bring that up, then Kaiba's gonna get all pissed, and then they'll really try to kill each other!"  
  
Honda laughed. "You're exaggerating. They may both be really into you, but they're not homicidal. Just obsessed. It's sad."  
  
My fist told him to shut the fuck up.   
  
----  
  
Work was irrelevant. I stood at the bank's entrance, eyeing every patron as if to say, "I have my eye on you." It's funny that in only two hours, I would be running off with all that I could carry. Rent-a-cop thief. Ha ha ha.   
  
I went off to lunch break and my cell phone went off ringing. I checked the caller ID and found that it was Kaiba. Probably confirming our positions. (NOT in that way, fool!) "Hello?"  
  
"Jou. Are you and Honda ready?"  
  
"Very much so. All we need is you to get into the bank."   
  
He paused. "Do you realize that Yuuki's borderline insanely obsessive about you?"  
  
Oh GOD. We're about to risk our clean (for the most part) criminal records for a spot of money in a very public place and Kaiba can only really think about how much he dislikes Yuuki?! Am I the only one who's normal anymore? Don't nobody CARE about stuff other than this "love" thing? HUH?!!   
  
My lack of an answer and nearly audible sigh prompted Kaiba to press on. (Why? I don't know.) "Look, Jou, you and I both know that Yuuki's a bit... touched. He fantasizes everything in life. What kind of a future could you possibly create with that? What about having a family? A nice house? Nice jobs?"  
  
My head hurt really badly from a mix of hangover and irritation. "Kaiba."  
  
"Yes?" I could hear him holding his breath expectantly.   
  
"Shut up."  
  
He released his respiration system half-heartedly and hung up.  
  
----  
  
And so the Hiroshima operation began.   
  
Kaiba marched through the bank's entrance as if he owned the place and everyone in it, but believe you me, he definitely does not. (I don't care how rich he is, I don't care what everybody says, he can't own a bank, he can't own a country, he can't own any government organizations, and he can't own people.) A manager of some sort scurried up to him, bowing deeply and probably hurting his back some, and led him behind some more doors. The escort through the bank's safes had begun.   
  
Fifteen minutes passed by and I waved my fist at some rowdy teenagers, and Honda gently tapped the gun sitting at his side. I still wonder who thought it was a good idea to give Honda a gun. He hasn't abused it yet, but you know what they say about short fuses...  
  
My cell phone rang once more. Caller ID said Yuuki. "Hello?"  
  
Yuuki spoke in rapid, fluid Spanish. "Katsuya, Kaiba's in. The WiFi hub is on the electronic lock. You and Honda need to move."   
  
I nodded to Honda and we both went down to the basement, where the escort was guiding Kaiba through the safes, showing him their top-notch (ha!) security. I tapped one of the guards on the shoulder, signaling that it was time to switch out.   
  
I swear I saw Kaiba smirk as Honda and I flanked him closely. We were all walking in the opposite direction of the proper safe, but in about three minutes time, we were to switch out with another pair of guards.   
  
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw one of the previous guards, Eiri, in the shadows, changing very quickly into an all-black outfit, and expertly placing a plastic face upon his own. He was to serve as a doppelganger, a faux thief that all of the security guards would identify as the man running out of the basement, but the police would never find.   
  
Three minutes later, another pair of guards tapped us on the shoulder, informing us it was time to switch out. The idea was that if various guards went through the basement, they wouldn't get enough time to try and steal anything. No, they don't trust us.   
  
Honda and I fell back carefully, making sure that no one was paying us any mind. My phone vibrated, signaling a text message from Yuuki that read, "Lock open, 1 min 4 DG 2 get in. Follow him. PS: SK = asswipe. Xplain l8tr." I think that if I continue to roll my eyes this often they might really get stuck that way. I nodded to him and we both slowly walked down the hallway, breathing remarkably softly but noting that we were still achieving an echo. The place was just so... cold and creepy.   
  
We stopped outside of the safe that our doppelganger was in, where he was pretending to stuff a sack of loot. "Three... two... one... now."   
  
We burst into the safe, grabbing Eiri roughly around the shoulders and throwing him to the cement floor and holding him there. Honda whipped out his walkie-talkie and recited some code related to attempted burglary. Within five seconds, we all heard footsteps thundering down the hallway. Eiri smirked and whipped out a knife, falsely lashing out at my torso. I fell back, releasing Eiri's arms. He sprinted forward, dropping his bag behind him. A crackling at Honda's radio, and we were told that the others would try to catch the "thief."   
  
I picked up the bag and pulled out some certificates, bonds, checks, and precious jewels. I placed them back in the box that had been emptied and closed it tightly. Honda confirmed over the radio that "The idiot ditched his bag and everything is in it's place. Nothing stolen."   
  
I could hear the manager's smirk. There was no way that this bank was going to report an attempted robbery. I hoisted the bag over my shoulder and walked out of the safe with Honda, closing the heavy titanium door behind us. A random guard ran up to us, first to congratulate us on our arbitrary find, then to state that somehow the thief had gotten away.   
  
For a reward, we were let out of work early. Nobody noticed the bag that I was still clutching.   
  
When we got back to our apartment, Yuuki, Kaiba, Akito, and Eiri (minus the fake face) were all waiting with a few bottles of scotch and sake. Honda's grin filled the room as he grabbed the bag and emptied out stocks, bonds, jewels, and yen bills all onto the kitchen counter.   
  
I've never been more drunk and happy at the same time in my entire life.  
  
[A/N: NO, it's not over. They only got money from one bank... should I do a chapter for all six banks? (Psssh, no. You don't want to read all that.) And besides, there's no closure on how this SetoxJouxYuuki thing's going to end. I've got so many ideas for ending, I might have to write up alternate endings just to please all of the different brain bugs. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go drool over Jesse Michaels (aka Yuuki, they're supposed to look exactly alike, because Jesse Michaels is the definition of sexiness...GOD I love Operation Ivy...). Review! All you non-reviewers... I'll go to YOUR stories and not review... how'd you like that, huh?? See you next week.] 


	7. Men In Conflict

Men In Suits  
  
A slightly Quentin Tarantino-inspired Yu Gi Oh! fan fic by Heavens to Bikini Kill  
  
--------------  
  
Seven: Men In Conflict  
  
--------------  
  
I like money. I REALLY like money. And getting ahold of it made me completely giddy (and drunk) the night of the Hiroshima operation. Unfortunately, I really can't remember much of what happened, except for downing a LOT of scotch, and taking a possible sip of sake. (Hate the stuff. Hate it, hate it, hate it.)   
  
The next morning, I was just praying like hell that the whole cliche unpleasant surprise thing wouldn't happen to me.  
  
I woke up in my own apartment (normal), in my own room (checks out fine), and in my own bed (perfectly good) with a mad headache (expected). But the first thing I noticed that was out of whack was that I was completely nude. I do not sleep in the nude, ever.   
  
Then I noticed that a man was lying directly next to me, apparently also nude. Yes, I know that you figured it out already. It was Kaiba.   
  
Damn!  
  
He slept rather peacefully, and a lock of his hair fell right over his eye. No, I didn't brush it away. Instead, I stared. He slept. I stared some more. He continued sleeping.   
  
Then my brain put two and two together and I realized what had probably happened last night (though I couldn't remember a thing). "AUUUUUUUUUGH!"  
  
----  
  
Honda laughed even harder.   
  
Kaiba and I both told him to shut the fuck up.   
  
He only smirked in reply and poured Kaiba a glass of orange juice. "So you seriously don't remember what happened?" He snorted. "But you guys were so damn loud in there, Akito kept pounding on the door, telling you to shut the fuck up."   
  
My eyebrow went to the skies. "What?"  
  
"Yeah," Honda mused, "I think he's all bitter since Sota broke up with him and went out with Hideaki a week later."  
  
I jumped up in surprise, immediately intrigued. "Really? Are you serious? Are they together now --"  
  
Kaiba covered my mouth and pushed me back down to my seat. "It is not relevant."  
  
"Oh, come on!" I whined.   
  
"No. You need to know what happened last night."  
  
"Oh. Yeah...that."   
  
Kaiba nodded to Honda. "I believe he, as a third party, will be the best to explain it."   
  
I rolled my eyes as Honda jumped at the opportunity to embarrass me. "Okay, so you had a lot of scotch. Like, a LOT. Like a shitload of the stuff. Like Akito had bought a warehouse crate of the stuff and you went through half of it. Like --"  
  
Okay, okay, I get the POINT!  
  
"Geez...sorry." He rolled his eyes. "Anyhow, you got really drunk, and Kaiba had quite a bit of sake on his part. You both got to talking, one thing led to another, and suddenly I'm hoisting Yuuki onto Eiri's shoulders so he can take him home and I'm watching you two go to your room."  
  
"Hoisting Yuuki onto Eiri's shoulders?" I asked. "Why? Is he okay?"  
  
"Calm down, inu." Kaiba snorted in pure contempt. "That git is fine. Can you believe that he got sick after two glasses of scotch?"  
  
Honda shook his head disapprovingly. "That man cannot hold his liquor."   
  
I grew very, very irritated. "Yeah yeah yeah, let's move on. What happened then?"  
  
Kaiba downed half of his orange juice in one go. "We fucked. Isn't that obvious?"   
  
"Ergh..." I grumbled. "I think I'm going to be sick."  
  
He simply laughed. "You may not remember anything that happened last night, but I will say this: you were amazing."  
  
I slapped him over the back of his head. "Shut the fuck up, Kaiba. It's not funny."   
  
----  
  
Yuuki didn't think it was that funny either. In fact, he called me later that day sounding a little bit like this:  
  
"Katsuya? Katsuya?! Is that you?!"  
  
I was slightly confused. "What are you going on about? Why wouldn't it be me?"  
  
I heard him let out a sigh of relief. "Good... you're okay."  
  
"What the fuck --"  
  
"Look, I'm coming over there to check the damage, okay?"  
  
"What? Why --" He had already hung up on me. Kaiba had been long gone, and Honda was looking for something to fix for lunch. I walked out of my room and to the kitchen. "Honda, any clue why Yuuki's all paranoid-like?"  
  
He burst into laughter. Again. (Does he just enjoy laughing at me?) "You should have seen Kaiba when you didn't come home from Hideaki's club! He was going to everybody's house! I think he might have had a gun in his car or something..."  
  
My eyes were the size of beach balls. "What?! He WHAT?!"   
  
He snorted. "Oh please. Don't act as if you don't know. They're seriously into you."  
  
"Ohshitohshitohshitohshit..." What? This was scaring/disturbing me. "I'm going to go take a very long shower."  
  
----  
  
I really like long showers. Don't act like you don't know. Nothing in this world is better than standing in complete isolation with beads of hot, relaxing water dropping freely all over your body. [A/N: Don't act like you're not seeing it. XD]   
  
I think I had been staying in there for nearly an hour.  
  
I heard the door open, and I assumed it was Honda, coming to yell at me to get out of the damn shower. "Hey, what do you want?"  
  
No answer.  
  
"Honda?" My voice echoed off the shower walls and came back to me, but it was the only set of waves traveling throughout the enclosure. It creeped me out greatly. Like something out of a bad horror movie. I suddenly felt very vulnerable.  
  
The curtain flew open. In the shower, nobody can hear you scream.  
  
Yuuki burst into laughter. "You scream like a little GIRL!"   
  
"That was not funny," I pouted.  
  
"You know it was."  
  
I raised an eyebrow, suddenly noting Yuuki's state of nudity. "Why are you here, and why are you naked?"  
  
He smirked. "You like it?" He took note of my glare and went to answering the questions. "Sota, Hideaki, and Otogi are here to set up for hacking into another account." He then took note of my disbelief. "Okay...Sota and Hideaki are here to hack, Otogi's here to see if he can get any sloppy seconds."  
  
"He can forget it. What about you?"  
  
His smirk grew. "I just felt rather dirty." He chuckled as he ran his hands through my wet mess of hair. "And we need to clean you up after what Kaiba did to you last night."  
  
I believe that we audibly made Otogi very, very uncomfortable.  
  
----  
  
Yuuki guided me out of the bathroom and back to the kitchen with his arm around my waist, constantly trying to get under my towel and keeping his lips to my neck. [A/N: Yeah yeah yeah, I'm getting down with their bishie selves... shut up...]  
  
My jaw fell to the floor the moment that I saw the state of the kitchen. Sota and Hideaki were flitting about the place, placing wires here and there and everywhere. They had set up at least two laptops (if there were any others, I couldn't see them because they were most likely covered in wires and boxes), and found it imperative that nobody could step anywhere. Yuuki grinned in pure admiration. "Nicely done, guys."  
  
Sota nodded his thanks and Hideaki waved a hand to show that he heard the compliment. Otogi stepped out from behind some boxes and walked up to me. "Hey there, Jou."   
  
I snorted contemptuously and Yuuki glared. "Otogi... go for Honda."  
  
Otogi pouted. "He says he's with Shizuka."   
  
Yuuki subconsciously pulled me closer to his side. "And HE'S with ME." Possessive much?  
  
Otogi glared and backed away, and it was my guess that he had probably heard something about Yuuki's Kaiba-centric death threats. Jesus, who knew that men were so hooked on gossip?  
  
I chose to ignore Otogi for the rest of the afternoon, and I turned to Sota. "What's with all of this gear?"  
  
Sota grinned as he plugged in some obscure wire into some obscure port. "We need all of the equipment that we can get. We have to make sure that our codes are ghosts: invisible and untraceable. If any inspector gets any clue that will lead him even to the most remote wire, we're all Bubba's next cellmates."   
  
Hideaki looked up from the Palm Pilot that he was no doubt playing with. "Jonouchi-san, will you PLEASE put on some goddamn pants, at the very least?"  
  
I struck a pose. "Why? Do I make you uncomfortable?"  
  
Everybody except for Otogi laughed out loud.   
  
[A/N: Uh...I'm back from LA, so my updates will be a lot more consistent. Maybe I'll finish this soon. You know, I've been thinking of a billion different endings... what if Kaiba and Yuuki got together? Ha ha ha. No way, they hate each other too much. (But then Jou and Kaiba shouldn't be together either...) Yeah yeah yeah, it's all the same. The second heist begins next chapter... it won't be very exciting. Sorry. See you next chapter... and review! Damn it! Review!] 


	8. Men On Line

Men In Suits  
  
A slightly Quentin Tarantino-inspired Yu Gi Oh! fan fic by Heavens to Bikini Kill  
  
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Eight: Men On Line  
  
--------------  
  
You know what? Sota and Hideaki are two really attractive computer geeks. What? I'm gay now, I can say that.   
  
But seriously. Those two, along with Yuuki, are a force to be reckoned with. They have the ability to take only your name and destroy your life, your home, and your family. They are more than just the system-crashing, money-stealing, stereotypical hackers. All in all, these motherfuckers are BAD.   
  
All three sat down to their laptops (after Sota served Yuuki a VERY long lecture about how set-up time was not to be used for fooling around in the shower) and demanded complete silence. It was time to get to work.  
  
Honda frequently glared at the electronic mess in his kitchen. "Why exactly did you have to come here?"   
  
Hideaki shushed him harshly, leaving Honda to pout.   
  
Yuuki's slender fingers flew across his keyboard. I sat and watched in wonder. Maybe I was drooling. Maybe not. All I knew what that I had no clue what he and the others were saying, and I didn't want a lesson on techy-geeky terms. Next they'll be wanting to teach me l33t. [A/N: I know that some people out there don't know what l33t is... l33t, or elite, is nerd speak. That's the best way to put it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get some sleep, sleep, glorious sl33p! Excus3 m3, th4t p0pp3d out. 44rgh! St0p m3!] Geez.   
  
For the next two hours, Yuuki, Sota, and Hideaki did nothing but type constantly, adjusting a wire every now and then. They frequently snapped their fingers at Otogi, demanding a food product of some type. I really, really wanted to give him a French maid outfit. It would have been hilarious.   
  
At exactly ten twenty four, Yuuki leapt to his feet and did a dance of victory. He grabbed Hideaki and they both kicked and swayed wildly in a strange rush of adrenaline. Two seconds later, Yuuki stopped and stared, Hideaki adjusted his fedora, and they rushed away from each other. (Yuuki to my lap, Hideaki to Sota's arms.)   
  
Sota took off his glasses and cleaned them carefully. "Gentlemen," he murmured, "I believe we have just successfully taken our fill from another account."  
  
"Did you clean it out?" I asked.  
  
Yuuki grinned and pointed to his computer screen. "No. We left him a gift." It was an account statement, of exactly three dollars and sixty seven cents.   
  
Yuuki monitored every drink I had that night, and Otogi rushed out of the apartment the moment we left for my room.   
  
----  
  
Does everybody just love coming to my apartment now? Did somebody advertise it as some new hip hotspot? Hm? There can't be any other logical explanation as to why both Kaiba and Yuuki come here every goddamn hour.   
  
Honda clued me in rather quickly that they were probably inspecting the goods.  
  
If I have to tell him to shut the fuck up one more time, I'm going to scream.   
  
Anyhow, Kaiba came back a few days after my Yuuki (shut up) so cleverly hacked into some rich guy's account and nearly emptied it. He didn't say much, only grabbed my arm and pulled me out to his car. Car number six, to be exact.   
  
"You know, Kaiba, they call this something. Kidnapping." I pulled out a pack of cigarettes. As if I was going to pass up the opportunity to leave cigarette ashes in Kaiba's expensive-ass car. Yeah yeah yeah, I don't need a lecture on how I shouldn't think of my potential lover as my enemy anymore.  
  
He smiled. Not sincerely. He never does that. "We're going for a little... ride."  
  
Scary, ja? Riding in a sleek, black Mercedes-Benz (E Class! Nice!) with Kaiba Seto, the creepiest CEO/stalker in Japan? Yeah, I was prepared to die. Or be terribly mutilated. He's clingy like that.   
  
"We gonna step out of the car any time soon?"  
  
"HELL no. You want the press to see me walking with a guy? They'll take it too far, they always do. You think Japan's ready for a gay celebrity?"  
  
I rolled my eyes. "Who cares what other people think?"  
  
"Don't be stupid, Jou. My profits depend entirely upon what other people think."  
  
I tapped the ashes out of the window and growled audibly. "Shut up."  
  
Kaiba was indignant and insulted. "Excuse me? You are in no position to be telling me to shut up."   
  
"And why not? Sorry, Kaiba, I don't feel like being some kissass who'll take whatever you give me."   
  
"So you're content with being selfish, whiny, and unappreciative?"  
  
"What?!" That one really pissed me off. "What the fuck do you mean, 'unappreciative'? Am I supposed to be GRATEFUL that you want me?"  
  
"Compared to that guitar-plunkin' moron Yuuki? Yes. You should be."   
  
I was dying to punch him again. "Fucking PRICK. I don't give a shit about your money."  
  
He snorted and glared. "You give a shit about MONEY, Jou. Whether you're willing to believe it or not, you are not perfect. You have your... vices."  
  
"Shut the fuck up, Kaiba. Don't act like you've had nothing to do with this."  
  
We both fell silent, and I was definitely in no mood to talk. Kaiba filled the silence. "I can't live without you --"  
  
"Oh man, SHUT UP. Seriously. I'm not like Anzu or whatever stupid girl you've dated. I can't be sweet-talked. You have no idea how people operate, Kaiba."  
  
He was very quick to agree. "And you are indecisive, and fickle. Nobody's perfect, and that includes Yuuki."  
  
"Quit talking about him. I don't care what you have to say about him."   
  
More silence. "Listen to me, Jou..."  
  
"No, just shut up. You said it yourself. I'm 'indecisive'. Give me some time to make up my mind."  
  
Kaiba exploded the moment I said that. "How much more damn TIME do you need? When the hell are you gonna make up your mind?"  
  
I lost my temper at that point as well. "Maybe I'll make up my mind when you and Yuuki quit hopping on my ass every damn thirty seconds! Maybe when you both quit trying to destroy each other just to get me, I'll have all the time in the world to pay attention to the fact that I've got two amazing, beautiful men who actually want me!"   
  
If Kaiba had the ability to cry, I think he would have. "Gods. You have no clue how hard this is for me."  
  
"What...?" I think we might have finally calmed down.   
  
"You don't know how hard it is for me to love you, Jou."  
  
"What?" That short-lived calm was slowly turning to revived anger.   
  
"Look at you. You've got no direction, no plan, no foundation. You're just floating, you're a ghost who can't find anything right, so you sleep with another ghost, thinking you'll get something."  
  
"Stop it."  
  
"You're worth nothing, Jou, and I can't stay here waiting for nothing."  
  
"I said stop it."  
  
He snatched the cigarette in my hand and threw it out of the window, watching another car crush it swiftly. "I'm moving up in the world every damn day, Jou. And every damn day I've been waiting for that moment where you and I could be together in that permanent comfort zone, where you wouldn't have to be a useless ghost..."  
  
I really couldn't believe what he was saying. "You elitist motherfucker."  
  
"Elitist? If you must call me that." He was eerily calm, like he had already accepted his fatheaded bourgeois state. "But you know it's all true."  
  
I had enough of strange, out-of-it Kaiba. "Pull over. Right here." He obeyed, he had no other choice.  
  
I looked at him directly in the eye, and I saw mirrors. Kaiba was gone, all there was left was a shell of a broken, hopeless man. "Jou. I am not sorry. I know you will make the proper choice."  
  
"I'll get back to you on that." I crawled out of his car, and I didn't want to be sad. I didn't want to feel guilt for playing with these men's emotions. But I did, and I hated it, and I hated Kaiba for not being that cold-hearted bastard that he was supposed to be. In fact, I hated Kaiba more than I hated my actions. It was his fault. Why couldn't he be immune to my actions? Asshole.   
  
I kept my back to his car, and my middle finger went right into the air. "Go have fun in your comfort zone."  
  
I heard the acceleration, and I heard the car make its way far, far away from me.   
  
I knew that he was crying. I didn't know how he could see through his tears.  
  
----  
  
It rained terribly.  
  
I spent the rest of that night in my room, laying on top of my bed, not caring if my perfectly made sheets were all astray. I had already told Honda to tell everyone else to fuck off, especially if Kaiba tried to come back. I turned my cell phone off as an obvious precaution. I wished to speak to no one, and I made that perfectly clear.  
  
My pillow had long been soaked with my tears, an occurrence that I had not been a part of since I was twelve and living alone with my father. When I turned thirteen, crying seemed to disappear out of my life. I thought I simply ran out of tears. They came back now.   
  
"Gods, FUCK you, Kaiba," I murmured to no one in particular. Perhaps I said it because I was purely confused at that point. I wasn't used to Kaiba being right. Kaiba wasn't supposed to be right, ever. He was supposed to be an elitist idiot who would say anything stupid to have me. And yet...  
  
Somebody knocked at my door. "Go away, Honda," I choked out. He had tried on various occasions to make me happy. Nobody, apparently, likes a sad Jou.  
  
"It's not Honda. It's me." Yuuki. I didn't know if I wanted to see him or not. He walked in anyway, taking my silence as a confirmation.   
  
He was holding something large in his other hand, but I didn't really care what. I didn't say anything as he placed whatever it was on the floor and sat at the foot of my bed. "Katsuya. What did he do to you?"  
  
"He was right," I said hollowly. "I am a ghost."  
  
"Stop that nonsense," he snapped. "Kaiba's got nothing to say to you."  
  
I sighed very loudly and flopped back onto my face. I was able to mumble through the pillow, "I'm tired of hearing you two hate on each other all the time."   
  
"And I'm tired of hating on Kaiba all the time. I keep saying that I trust your judgment and yet I keep trying to convince you that Kaiba's a filthy asshole." He paused. "Katsuya, I really only want to love you. That's all."   
  
I didn't answer.   
  
He sighed at my lack of a response, and placed a dark case of some sort right next to my feet. I heard his fingers fumble over some snaps, and I looked up to see Yuuki hoisting an acoustic guitar onto his lap. "I don't want to fuck, I don't want to yell about Kaiba. I just want to spend this night with you." He began to strum some three-chord tune.   
  
"All the doves that fly past my eyes, have a stickiness to their wings. In the doorway of my demise, I stand, encased in the whisper you taught me," the strumming sped up at this point, "How does it feel? It feels blind. How does it feel? Well, it feels fucking blind. What have you taught me? Nothing. Look what you've taught me, you've taught me nothing."   
  
I felt my eyes getting all wet again, and I couldn't stand it. "Yuuki... stop it."   
  
He wouldn't stop. "If you were blind and there was no braille, there are no boundaries on what I can feel. If you could see but were always taught that what you saw wasn't fucking real, yeah... how does that feel? It feels blind. How does it feel? It feels fucking blind. Your world has taught me nothing. Look at your world it teaches me nothing."   
  
I sat up, my line of sight blurry owing to my tears. I placed a hand to Yuuki's guitar. "Stop. Please." He looked up, his emotions too mixed to identify. "I don't want to be a ghost. And I don't want to leave you either."  
  
I could tell that anger was emerging from his emotions. He packed his guitar away, and refused to look at me as he raged, "You don't want to be a ghost? What is this ghost that you speak of? Is it some of Kaiba's propaganda?"  
  
"No, it's --" I tried.  
  
He held up a hand, signaling that he really didn't care. "Look, Katsuya, I love you with every fiber of my being, and I am SORRY that Kaiba hurt you, but..." He sighed deeply and picked up his case, heading for the door. "I cannot and will not wait around for you forever. You and I both know that it's just not fair. Make up your mind, or you will lose both of us." Right before he closed the door he added contemptuously, "So much for tough ghost, tough crowd."  
  
And he left.   
  
"Damn it, Yuuki," I whispered to the closed door, "how the hell am I supposed to choose?"  
  
[A/N: Wow... I've seriously killed the funny in this chapter. Why do I always do that?! Anyhow, I'm thinking of one more "official" chapter (if not two), and then we move on to the alternate endings, in order to please you Yuuki-hating Kaiba fans (I know you exist, damn it!). That's all for now, Heavens to Bikini Kill over and out. PS: The song that Yuuki sang was Bikini Kill's "Feels Blind."] 


	9. Men In Suits

Men In Suits  
  
A slightly Quentin Tarantino-inspired Yu Gi Oh! fan fic by Heavens to Bikini Kill  
  
--------------  
  
Nine: Men In Suits  
  
--------------  
  
I don't know why I did what I did, but I did it, and there is nothing I can do now to change it.   
  
It's kind of sad, really.   
  
I spent the next three days in my room with a questionable amount of brew, listening to a mix CD that Yuuki made me a few days after we met, and examining a Rolex that Kaiba bought for me two weeks ago. I only left three times a day to swallow something solid or to use the restroom.  
  
I remember hearing people, sometimes Yuuki, sometimes Kaiba, sometimes even Sota, coming by every now and then, asking where I was. Honda would say the same, I was locked in my room and nobody could get in. Kaiba had grumbled something about me being a drama queen, and Yuuki asked if Honda could tell me that he was sorry. Is it possible to love them both too much?  
  
The fourth day I pulled apart my curtains for the first time and saw the sunrise. I was taken aback by the simple, cheap, natural beauty of the oranges and reds and purples in the sky, greater than any acid trip.   
  
What's in your head? What's in your head? Zombie, zombie, zombie, hey hey...  
  
I walked out of my room tentatively, continuously soaking in the image of the world outside of those four walls. Honda and Shizuka were on the couch, watching television. The moment he spotted me his arm flew off of her shoulders. Good man. (I could've sworn that I saw him stash away something small and plastic. I chose to ignore it for Honda's sake.)   
  
Shizuka brightened immediately upon seeing me alive and well. She jumped up from the couch and somehow flew directly into my arms. "Big brother! I am so glad that you're okay!"  
  
My eyebrows nearly touched the ceiling. "Why wouldn't I be okay?" I turned to my roommate. "Honda... what EXACTLY have you been telling my sister?"   
  
He started to sweat nervously, and coughed a bit. "I simply said that you locked yourself up in your room because you were so depressed over Yuuki and Kaiba."  
  
"WHAT?!" I shouted. "You weren't supposed to tell Shizuka... THAT!"  
  
She giggled. "It's okay, brother. I don't care if you're gay. And I won't tell Mom OR Dad."  
  
"It doesn't matter," I grumbled, immediately changing the subject. "I don't give a damn about either of those self-righteous, self-destructive asswipes."  
  
Shizuka gasped audibly. "Don't talk about Mom like that!" she scolded.  
  
"Yeah yeah yeah. I don't like her, she doesn't like me, we made that perfectly clear to you." I examined her shocked reaction. "Oh, come on! How the hell am I supposed to like that bitch? She left me with that drunken, wasted excuse of a father, much less a man!"   
  
Honda jumped to Shizuka's side, under the pretense of comfort. "Come on, Jou. That stuff's ancient history. Can't you just bury it?"   
  
"HELL no," I snapped. I turned and grabbed my ancient green jacket off of the nicely constructed coat rack that Kaiba had sent after the first heist.  
  
"Where are you going?" Honda demanded.   
  
"Out. It's not much of your business." I closed the door behind me before either of them could answer.  
  
----  
  
Sota examined me very carefully over the top of his glasses. Hideaki was standing right by his seat, absentmindedly combing his hand through Sota's dreads. Eiri had gone out for coffee, offering to buy me a latte (I declined), and Akito was nowhere to be seen. "Are you absolutely sure about this, Jonouchi-san?"  
  
"Absolutely."   
  
He smiled softly. "It's hard to imagine that you don't want to ride this whole thing out. Five million yen is quite a bit of money, but by the time we finish this, there's going to be a lot more for you."  
  
I shook my head quickly. "I thank you for the offer, and I thank you for allowing me the opportunity to be involved with such an intricate operation, but I'm afraid I cannot stay. I have... business elsewhere."  
  
He nodded understandingly. (Funny how Sota's the only one who can stop thinking about himself and see other people's situations...) "I see." He opened his laptop and brushed away sawdust. The whole idea of a rental office was still a bad one. The place still looked crappy. "So, shall I open an account for you and transfer the money?"  
  
"Hell no." I had to smile. "Cash."  
  
Sota grinned also and pulled out a suitcase, opening it for me to examine. Five million yen in paper. "As I thought. Smart man."   
  
I was going to miss these men in suits.   
  
----  
  
I do have my driver's license, I've always had it, but I never found it imperative to obtain a car of any kind. Hello, there is nothing wrong with public transport.   
  
Of course I wasn't going to buy a car now, don't act silly. Rental cars are just as useful.   
  
The suitcase went into the back seat, along with a duffel bag stuffed with some trousers, some assorted shirts, toiletries, and a Operation Ivy t-shirt that Yuuki gave me two days after we first had sex.   
  
I felt something vibrating at my hip, and I put my phone to my ear. "What is it, Kaiba?"  
  
I could hear his smirk over the phone. "There is, my dear Jou, a serious difference between the number of times Yuuki has taken you and the number of times that I have done so. I would very much like to solve for that problem."  
  
I growled. "What? What is this? Is sex just another thing to compete at? Is it completely meaningless to you?"  
  
"Oh don't preach," he snapped. "You've allowed Yuuki to have you almost every hour of every day."  
  
"Maybe," I noticed that my voice was rising, "I wasn't interested in fucking you at the top of every hour because I wanted to have something sacred to share with you. Ever consider that?"  
  
I could tell that he refused to buy the concept that he was clueless. "Shut up, inu. Don't give me that 'sacred love' bullshit, okay? It's become obvious by this point that you don't give a shit about either of us."  
  
"How insightful."  
  
"Look, I'm coming over in ten minutes."  
  
"You can forget that. I won't be there. For a very long time."  
  
He started to snarl. "Then where are you?"  
  
"You don't need to know."  
  
"Excuse me? You are MINE, make inu."  
  
I rolled my eyes. "Just for calling me a dog, I am most definitely not yours."  
  
"Don't you ever speak to me in that way -- "  
  
"Or what? You can't do shit to me." I took a very deep breath. "You're ridiculously hot, Kaiba. And I do harbor some feelings for you. But you're cold, creepy, and possessive. Don't try to call me again." I hung up.   
  
Three seconds later, the phone rang again. I checked the caller ID and saw that it was Kaiba, persistent still. "Pompous ass." I tossed the phone to the ground and swiftly crushed it underneath my feet.   
  
----  
  
I drove throughout Hiroshima, chain smoking and cranking up my Operation Ivy CD. It was an American import that I had gotten for my birthday years ago and never touched again until I met Yuuki. I had this crazy itch to start listening to it now.   
  
All I know is that I don't know, all I know is that I don't know nothing... and that's just fine.   
  
I found Yuuki's home, thanks to godawful assorted directions. I had never been there a day in my life.   
  
I climbed out of the car and ran into the apartment building and up the stairs to number 215. I hammered on the door. "Yuuki! You HAVE to be there! I need to talk to you!"  
  
I heard stumbling and swearing and in five seconds, Yuuki threw open the door, in nothing but a pair of boxers. He looked as though he had just climbed out of bed. (Or in his case, a very comfortable bean bag.) "Katsuya, what are you doing here?"  
  
I pushed past him and slammed the door behind me. I turned to see his own shocked expression, and I took a very deep breath, again. "Yuuki, you are without a doubt one of the most amazing men on the face of this planet, and being able to spend any time with you at all is a pure blessing."  
  
He stared. "Katsuya, I have no idea what the hell is going on here. I've got Sota calling me up asking if I was planning to leave the country with you or something because you just took five million yen, a miniscule fraction of what we're making, and jetted out of the operation, and I've got Honda calling me saying that I need to calm you down once I see you cause you're as pissy as hell, and now I'm having Kaiba call me up and threatening to end my life because you essentially called off any relations to him. I LOVE complications, Katsuya, you know this, but right now I cannot take any more drama, okay?"  
  
I had to do it. I had to kiss him. He was just so damn beautiful when he was confused and hopeless.   
  
He pushed me away and forced me onto a chair. "Explain. Now."  
  
I couldn't look at him. "I... I just wanted to kiss you goodbye, that's all."  
  
His jaw dropped to the floor. "What?!"  
  
"I'm leaving. I'm leaving Hiroshima, I'm leaving Domino for good. I'm heading out to Tokyo, I think my friend Yuugi can help me find a place to crash..."  
  
Yuuki stared at me in pure wonder for a few moments. "Are you insane? Have you completely lost it? Why in God's name would you ever want to leave Domino, OR Hiroshima?"   
  
I felt tears form in my eyes, and I didn't bother to hold them back. "I adore you, Yuuki, I simply adore you, but I don't adore you any more or any less than I do Kaiba. I know I can't keep you two waiting, but I can't choose either."  
  
His eyes narrowed and I could see a tear falling down his own cheek. It was as if he couldn't stand to be too close to me, for he moved virtually across the room. From his new proximity, he whispered, "If you truly adore me, then why can't you see that I love you more than he ever will, and that I'll treat you better than he ever could?"  
  
"That's just it, Yuuki," I tried to explain. "You don't love me more than Kaiba does. He cares, I know it, he showed a fraction of it to me in his office that day... but he's just not like you. He's not soft, he's not pleasant. But he cares all the same."  
  
He could only shake his head. "And so your solution is running away."  
  
"I am NOT running away --" I protested.  
  
He now refused to even look at me. "Don't lie to yourself." He held up one middle finger. "Go have fun in Tokyo."  
  
I don't know how I could have seen my way out of that apartment building through my tears, but I apparently made it in one piece, because I found myself crying in the car while it rained. Suddenly, I felt really bad for Kaiba.  
  
----  
  
I'm pretty sure that if I told Shizuka, she wouldn't have taken the news well. But I couldn't bring myself to admit to her that I was some sort of coward, so I left a note at her mother's house. Shut up. I know it was messed up. Would you prefer that I e-mail her?  
  
I had sincerely thought that I was going to enjoy the drive by myself out to Tokyo. I had sincerely thought that a long, lonely road trip would help me realize myself, and possibly realize who I truly loved. Perhaps I was experiencing pure naivete while I was planning my escape, because as I left Hiroshima in that rental car, I realized that the damage I had just caused was simply irreversible.  
  
Even if I thought that I truly loved Kaiba, there was no way that I could fairly make him tolerate me after what I said to him. And Yuuki wouldn't possibly take me either, I had broken him beyond repair.   
  
I drove, not containing an ounce of the happy or the relief that I expected would result of my actions. Tokyo was no longer a shelter or utopia, but a dead end that I had forced myself to. And there was no changing any of it.  
  
Perhaps I will find someone new. Perhaps I can forget everything I did to those two beautiful men in suits.   
  
But for now, all I can do is cry my way to a new home, and new beginnings.   
  
[end.]  
  
A/N: Oh my GOD! That was the second saddest ending I've ever written. (cheappluggoreadblazingstarnow!cheapplug) It made me sad just thinking of the concept... Jou can't decide between Yuuki OR Seto and decides that running away will solve for the problem, pushing them both away. (sniff) Toooooo sad for me. But on a happier note, alternate endings are coming soon. Guess what the first one's gonna be? Come on, just guess. Guess, damn it! And while you're at it, review! Now! 


	10. altend1

Men In Suits  
  
A slightly Quentin Tarantino-inspired Yu Gi Oh! fan fic by Heavens to Bikini Kill  
  
--------------  
  
Alternate Ending One.  
  
--------------  
  
I hated myself for a few days after that. No, no really, I did. I mean, I was the one who played with other people, inconsiderate and self-absorbed. I always yelled at other idiots for being that way, and now I'm one of them? Ugh. It made me sick.  
  
I reverted right back to my pathetic, pre-men in suits state. I knew nothing, I was good at nothing, and I was only capable of picking locks and watching 'Reservoir Dogs' all day, every day. For some reason I loved it when Mr. White cut off that cop's ear. [A/N: I am almost certain that Mr. White was NOT the one who sliced off that ear, but Jou's straight foolish like that. I need to rent that movie... "...And YOU'RE Mr. Purple..." "Why can't we choose our own colors?" "Because I said so, you fucking idiot, now shut up." "Okay, okay, I'll be Purple." "...No. You're Mr. Pink." And don't forget Mr. Orange, who is constantly screaming throughout the entire movie: "I'm fucking dying over here! Oh God! He shot me, and I'm fucking dying!"]  
  
After I declined to participate in the next heist, Honda demanded that I do something to bring myself up again. He had come in from the heist with a very fat sack of yen and diamonds. He spotted me lying pathetically on the couch with some sushi, watching Steve Buscemi being named Mr. Pink.   
  
He was in a remarkably good mood. "Man, that was the most fun I've had in a LONG time!" He dumped his bag and stretched audibly. "We held up an entire bank, and only one of us actually had a loaded gun!" It was my guess that it was probably him, but I didn't say so. "Thank the gods for people and fear!" He noted my lack of a proper response, and decided to be a true friend, and help in a sincere, calm matter. "Jou, what the fuck has been up with you lately? You've missed out on a ton of shit that I know you would kill for."   
  
I lifted the DVD player's remote morosely and pressed the pause button, I didn't expect to talk to my friend for very long. "Honda, right now I don't feel all that great, okay?"  
  
He knew enough not to press the subject and started to clear the area. "All right... anyhow, I'm seeing Shizuka later tonight, so you'll have the place to yourself." He reached into his pocket to pull out his keys, and I heard crinkling plastic.   
  
"That had better be candy," I mumbled.  
  
He laughed as he headed for the shower. "You haven't changed a bit, no matter how shitty you're feeling now."  
  
----  
  
Honda left, and I was completely alone. I spent an hour going through my DVDs, only bothering to tolerate a few minutes of each one. I tried fridge-raiding, only to find that nothing really tasted that good anymore. Oreos and peanut butter, what happened to that for me? (Honestly, I have no clue.)  
  
The entire apartment suddenly felt significantly smaller, perhaps because I hadn't left the damn place in such a long time.   
  
Maybe if I just took a nap or something, I could've felt better. But nooooo... I just HAD to try to visit Kaiba.   
  
Cold-hearted bastard.  
  
I walked out to that makeshift office that looked like total shit with the same exact people flitting around making it look as though they were busy. I made my way to a small desk in front of the door that I vaguely remembered as Kaiba's office.   
  
Apparently he got himself a new secretary. She was filing her nails and looked up at me. "Mr. Kaiba is very busy right now."  
  
I snorted. "That's what he always says when he's either really into a computer game or when he's having a lot of fun watching Happy Tree Friends."  
  
The secretary raised an eyebrow in interest, thinking that her boss watching a preschool show would most definitely make for good gossip. "Happy Tree Friends? What's that?"  
  
"It's a very gory web cartoon featuring cute animals getting mutilated." [A/N: You know, I used to love Happy Tree Friends. But I saw their gear at Hot Topic and I was kind of turned off. Ever since they starting selling their swag there, their cartoons have been about absolutely nothing else BUT the blood. Going for the "goth" (posers) crowd kicked me off it. Regardless! It's still pretty funny. If you know what it is, then I know you can see Kaiba enjoying it. If not... well, think twisted.]  
  
Her hand flew to her mouth in shock. I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, that's the kind of stuff he digs on. So, shall I see my way in?"  
  
She nodded slowly, still shocked at the concept of her boss being so demented (I don't know why, I know for a fact that he is), and pointed to the door. I smiled brightly for her, hoping to improve her evening. Didn't work. At all.   
  
I gave up and threw the door open, not really paying attention to what was inside. "Hey, Kaiba --" Once I actually decided to look at the man, my jaw dropped to the floor.   
  
Kaiba was in his office chair in the far right corner, smoking a cigar with his pants down. He noted my shocked reaction and chuckled softly. "Hello there, make inu." He lifted up a half-empty glass bottle. "Would you care for some sake?"  
  
I ignored his offer. "The hell is going on here?" I turned and noticed that Akito, with his spiked blue hair, was also in the room, sitting on top of Kaiba's desk. He smirked.  
  
Kaiba took a thoughtful puff of the cigar, and smirked also. "What do you think?"  
  
I couldn't answer. What was this? What was Akito doing with Kaiba? What was Kaiba doing with his pants down? Wasn't he supposed to be terribly in love with ME? Since when did the world stop turning correctly?   
  
He continued, and my heart fell to pieces on the floor. "Jou, you've said it yourself. It's not fair to keep people waiting. I simply got tired of your indecisiveness, and took action for myself. Akito's remarkably angry with Sota and needed a way to get it out of his system. It worked."   
  
You cannot blame me for running out of that building with tears in my eyes. Asshole.  
  
----  
  
Yes, I ran to Yuuki. What the hell did you expect?  
  
It rained, again. I honestly think that some god out there really, really hates me.   
  
I ran all the way to what I thought was his apartment complex. It was in a part of town that I had never been to before, a situation I am not used to because Domino wasn't that unfamiliar to me. Should've known better, what was I thinking? This wasn't Domino, it's Hiroshima, bigger and most definitely more threatening.   
  
I walked up the decaying stairway (the elevator wasn't working that night) to apartment number 215. I knocked rapidly, making sure to create a lot of noise. "Yuuki? It's me, Katsuya." Ugh. I was still not used to even calling myself by my first name.   
  
A few moments, and Yuuki threw open the door, his hair stuffed underneath a bandanna, dressed in an Electric Six t-shirt and a random pair of boxers (I still notice what he's wearing, okay?). He looked at me, noted my tears, noted my dripping wet clothing, and said, "Come in."  
  
It only took five minutes to get me into a bathrobe and a damn good cup of coffee. Yuuki looked over at me. "You okay? You've barely touched your coffee. Is something wrong with it?"   
  
"No... it's great." I tapped the side of the mug slowly, taking a sip every few minutes or so.   
  
"Then what is wrong? You came here soaking wet and crying, and now you won't drink a good cup of coffee?" He pulled the mug out of my fingers and held me, looking me directly in the eye. "I absolutely hate it when you're like this."  
  
I smiled sadly. "I absolutely hate being hurt."  
  
"Kaiba... hurt you?" he whispered. "My God... I knew that this would happen."  
  
I looked away. "He and Akito were... together is the best way to put it, and he said something about how he wasn't going to wait forever..."  
  
"Damn it," he muttered. "I am so sorry, Katsuya. I swear to God, I'll kill him."  
  
I suddenly remembered that promise that Yuuki made not too long ago. "Erm... that's not really all that necessary..." I began to laugh very nervously.  
  
He looked at me strangely. "What? It's just a figure of speech, Jou. Geez."  
  
I stared. He stared also. I stared some more. He stared even longer.  
  
I had to laugh. "This has been some crazy shit, hasn't it?"  
  
"Absolutely." He stretched audibly and threw an arm over my shoulder. "What say we do one more heist and jet back to Domino? I'm getting this sweet loft over there."  
  
I grinned and nodded. "Sounds excellent." I rested my head upon his shoulder in a cliche act of affection. "I don't think I'll mind being with you."  
  
"I don't think I'll mind either."  
  
Damn. I love Yuuki, that pretty man in a suit.  
  
[alt.end]  
  
A/N: Awww... I made Yuuki all sweet and Kaiba an asshole. (What? He IS...) For those of you who really wanted Kaiba to get Jou, your cliche happy ending is coming soon. You have no clue how many different endings I'm thinking up here... what if Yuuki turned out to be a cop and he arrested Jou? What if both Yuuki and Kaiba rejected Jou permanently? What if...? There are going to be a lot of alternate endings here, I can tell. Review. 


	11. altend2

Men In Suits  
  
A slightly Quentin Tarantino-inspired Yu Gi Oh! fan fic by Heavens to Bikini Kill  
  
--------------  
  
Alternate Ending Two.  
  
--------------  
  
"Jou, you are remarkably greedy."   
  
"I am NOT greedy, I am simply very ambitious."  
  
"Did Kaiba feed you that line?"  
  
"Don't bring him into this."  
  
"Awwwww, is Jou getting all defensive for his boyfriend?"  
  
"He is NOT my boyfriend!"  
  
"...Yet."  
  
"You ass. You pompous, arrogant ass!"  
  
"Now, were you referring to me, or to Kaiba's bangin' body?"  
  
"Shut up. Now."  
  
"Ah ha, so you DO admit that you like Kaiba's ass..."  
  
"It's not a crime. I'll have you know that Kaiba has a very nice ass."  
  
"Um... Jou? I don't dig on guys like you do. I didn't need to know that."  
  
"Yeah yeah yeah, I know you're only with Shizuka in order to cover up your thing for Otogi... OW! What the FUCK was that for?!"  
  
"BAKA. I do not like that... poor excuse for a man. Period. Now hurry up with your sack stuffing 'fore we get caught and shot."  
  
I rolled my eyes and threw the strap over my shoulder. "I don't know why you're worried. Yuuki knows what he's doing."  
  
Honda snickered as he hoisted himself out of the basement window. "Proud of him, are you?"  
  
"Shut the FUCK up 'fore I knock you out, son!"  
  
----  
  
Stealing money is fun. Getting drunk is even more fun. Fucking Kaiba Seto (or rather, getting fucked by him) is... slightly less fun. He's really weird about sex.   
  
Okay, let's think of Public Kaiba: arrogant, ignorant, straight foolish, selfish, cold, creepy, and an all-around asshole. (You know it's true.) Compare that to Private Lovey-Dovey Kaiba: gentle, sort-of kind, soft, sincere, generous, caring, and the kind of person that you'd actually want to engage in conversation with. (Too bad I've only seen this Kaiba once or twice.) Now, blend those two Kaibas together and add in alcohol and a bed and you have this strange-ass Kaiba who likes domination and walks on the beach. Does that make much sense to you?  
  
It didn't to me either. It was like the man was fucking bipolar or something. One moment he'd be tying me down with leather straps, and then he'd be caressing my body with some rose he got for me earlier that day. Then he'd slap me around a couple of times (just kidding), which would directly lead to him kissing me whilst whispering something about how he loves me. He would say stuff like, "I love you so damn much, you worthless dog." Yeah. Hard to enjoy.   
  
The funny thing was, while he was in me, something possessed me to say, "I love you too." I saw him smile, sincerely smile, for the first time in my life. It was remarkable, and I really wanted to know why he didn't smile more often. There was no describing that smile in words, and I knew at that very moment that there was no getting around the fact that I truly loved him.   
  
He fell asleep promptly thereafter. I could not. Something was chewing away at me, in the corner of my mind, mocking me relentlessly. There was this one word, a word that refused to go away. "Yuuki."  
  
Damn IT! Can't he just disappear or something?  
  
"No."  
  
Maybe Kaiba can disappear, then.   
  
"No. And you don't want him to, either."  
  
Can't I just forget this whole conflict deal and be happy with them both?  
  
"You could try, but they'd probably gang up on you after a while and kick your ass."  
  
What? No, they wouldn't. They're head over heels for me, they'd never get violent with me, right?  
  
"Bitch, don't act dumb."  
  
You have got some nerve to insult your respective body.  
  
"Yeah yeah yeah, it's all the same."  
  
Don't mock me.  
  
"Can't help the fact that you're a flaming idiot."  
  
Okay, you know what? This has been really drawn out. I'm not going to refer to you anymore.   
  
"Uh huh. I can see you making a note to yourself right now: talk to Yuuki, might have to break it off."  
  
Shut UP. ShutupshutupshutupshutupshutUP.  
  
"Whatever. You know what you have to do."  
  
I said shut up.  
  
----  
  
Yuuki slipped his hand in mine and sighed deeply. "Gods, I love watching the sunrise. It's almost as beautiful as you."  
  
Oh man, what am I doing? I don't want to do anything to hurt Yuuki, but...  
  
He turned to me, worry in his eyes. "Something's wrong, Katsuya. Talk to me."  
  
I refused to look at him. "Yuuki, I don't know how to say this, but I really have to..."  
  
"Yes?" he encouraged.  
  
"I think..."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I think that I might be in love with Kaiba."  
  
I could hear his heart drop off of that roof right down to the quiet street below us, shattering to a thousand pieces, never to be put together again. He let go of my hand immediately, as if it were tainted by the simple idea of me ever loving Kaiba. He didn't question me, he didn't ask me to repeat what I said, he only stared, his mouth slightly ajar, his eyes wavering and a small tear forming that I would never see. "You love Kaiba." It was a statement of fact.  
  
I tried to ease the pain. "I'm sorry --"  
  
He nearly scooted further away from me. "Don't apologize. You shouldn't apologize for loving someone." He even forced a smile. "Hey, you guys might even be happy together."  
  
I smiled also, thinking that I was worried for nothing. "You know, I think you and Akito would be really great together." A mistake on my part.  
  
At that point, Yuuki stood up in pure anger. "Don't," he raged, "you ever suggest that I could be happy with anyone else BUT you. I cannot demand that you love me, but I can make sure that you know I love you more than anything else in this pathetic world."  
  
He refused to acknowledge my existence for the rest of that day, and by nightfall, he walked completely out of my life.  
  
----  
  
Many days later, after I established a relationship with Kaiba and began setting up for yet another heist, Sota pulled Kaiba off of my neck and to the side.   
  
"What the hell did you say to Yuuki?" he demanded.   
  
His sudden hostility rubbed me the wrong way. "What the fuck? Can't somebody break it off without people getting all up in your business?"  
  
Sota looked as though he were going to punch me out. "Oh really? Is that all? Because Yuuki came up to my office just 48 hours earlier, took his share of the money, and said he was going to back to Domino."  
  
"Yeah, so? Maybe he was homesick." What? It didn't seem that big of a deal to me.  
  
His lip curled in disgust. "Back to Domino," he snapped, "so he could move his stuff out to America. He's leaving the country, you ass, because he can't tolerate the idea of being in the same country with Kaiba anymore."  
  
"So you want to place the blame entirely on me? I'm sorry, Sota," I snarled right back, "but I can't pretend to love somebody just to keep them in the country."  
  
"Maybe you haven't noticed, Katsuya," he put emphasis on my first name, shocking me slightly at his lack of formality, "but Yuuki is my best friend, and I care about him very much. I also know more about him than you ever will, and I know that a simple break-off would not cause him to leave Japan. So, I will ask you again. What did you say to him?"  
  
I rolled my eyes to the heavens. "I'm sorry that Yuuki is so torn over this, but I love Kaiba. Period. If you're so worried, then go talk to HIM, rather than trying to blame ME." I paused. "Why does it matter so much to you? You're not in love with him, are you?"  
  
Sota looked away and found it imperative to change the subject. "Continue setting up the computers. We've only got a few hours." He walked off to dig some wires out of a box.  
  
I looked after him carefully.   
  
Kaiba walked up, threw an arm over my shoulder, and kissed me deeply. (He was never one for cute little pecks on the cheek... that was more of Yuuki's deal.) "You know what you do?" he muttered.  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"You complete me." He grinned, sincerely now, and got remarkably close, throwing the Palm Pilot in his hand to the couch. (Surmising shouts of protest from Hideaki: "Be careful with that, asshole!" Kaiba only flipped him off.)  
  
I snorted in false contempt and pretended to push him away. "Don't quote Jerry Maguire, you loser."  
  
He pretended to examine me. "You like movies way too much."  
  
"And you read too much Megatokyo... the author's from fucking Wisconsin, he's not even Japanese!" I replied.   
  
He smirked. "So let's work on each other, okay?"  
  
"Fine by me." Oh come on, we all know that Kaiba would forget about it the moment we got back to Domino.   
  
He paused for measure. "I love you, make inu."  
  
I poked him rather playfully, immersing myself completely in the loving puppy role. "Call me that again and I'll kill you, unless..."  
  
"Unless what?" he demanded.  
  
"Unless you put on a suit tonight."  
  
I think you know how that night went.  
  
[alt.end]  
  
A/N: Okay, self-analysis: this one was kind of Yuuki-centric, but you must understand, I have a harder time hurting him than I do Kaiba. Seriously. And it was hard giving him a temper too. Damn it, in my mind he's friggin' perfect... now only if he would materialize right next to me. I think I wouldn't be able to reach the computer for a very, very long time. (Oh, don't act so disgusted, you know it's true.) And it was really hard to do a romantic fluffy deal at the end for Kaiba and Jou, so I settled for a bit of mystery, once again involving Yuuki. DOES Sota have some unresolved feelings for Yuuki? Hmm... that's for the reader to decide, 'cuz I'm not delving any deeper. See you next alternate ending. (Although I think the original was probably the most fitting...) Oh yeah, thanks very much Firevega21... I adore Quentin, he's my idol. He's apparently dating Sofia Coppola... I -guess- I'm okay with that, they would be kind of cute together. Kind of. Some people love actors, I love directors and producers. (My oh my, I think I may be in love with M. Night Shymalan. And Will Smith, he produces. And Spike Lee.) Well, enough about my film obsessions! Review! 


End file.
